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He Planned to Stay the Night, but Didn’t Bring a Toothbrush

He Planned to Stay the Night, but Didnt Bring a Toothbrush just a story  477570 29572943 300x210Human Beings are odd creatures. They are. We are.

I saw the Sunday Boy, aka The Younger Man, this weekend.  On Sunday (go figure). We mixed it up a bit. Instead of my heading out to his ‘hood and then us going out to dinner (our norm), he came over to my place and we stayed in. The original plan called for some pre-dinner nookie, dinner out, and then maybe (probably) some more . But I suggested we just stay in and order Thai food.

I’d had a really busy weekend and just wanted a night in. Plus, I really wanted to pay for dinner. I’d gone for the check a couple of weeks ago, but he’d already taken it. And I so hate negotiating these things. I’d just rather pick up the check sometimes and not have to talk about it.

Ordering in at my place makes that one thing easier.

Anyway, back to the date. It was an odd one, in lots of ways. It started very casual.  Well, not casual.  I decided to be somewhat vixen-ish and answered the door in some of my nicer lingerie (for him, not the delivery guy).  And we did, indeed, start the night with nookie.

And then, I’m not sure why, we ended up watching some bad TV while we waited for and ate our dinner.  And whatever nonsense show we were watching led to a kinda serious conversation on a topic I knew way too much about, because it had something to do with my old work.  And he was caught off guard, because he had NO IDEA what I used to do for a living, even though I’m 99% sure I mentioned it on one (or more) of our earlier dates. So that was weird. And a total mood killer.

But still, we ended up back in . Because what’s the point of having dinner in, in your underwear, if you’re not going to have more sex?

And then, after, he says, “I was planning on spending the night.”  To which I had no choice but to say, OK.  I mean, I could have been a bitch and said, NO.  But I’m not actually a bitch.  Not really.

Really, I’m not.

So I get up and tell him I need to get ready for bed (brush teeth, wash face, take pills) and he says, “I didn’t bring my toothbrush, do you have a spare?”.

Can someone please explain this to me?  He planned on spending the night, but he didn’t bring his toothbrush? How is that a plan?

And no, I didn’t have a spare. I used to keep one in the bathroom, at all times. But that’s something I no longer do. There’s a story there, for another day. I let him use my toothbrush.  I don’t get the whole, not letting the person you just had sex with use your toothbrush thing.  Seems odd to me.


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13 to “He Planned to Stay the Night, but Didn’t Bring a Toothbrush”


  1. jamy says:

    It’s actually less hygienic to share toothbrushes than to kiss. After the bristles get frayed (which you can’t always see), they can cause tiny cuts and thus blood and other bacteria are easily conveyed to the other person. Dental infections can be dangerous. So, I’d say, keep a spare brush or just make him use his finger next time.

  2. Jolene says:

    Hmm. maybe he planned to stay the night only after he got to your place?? I’m not one to share my toothbrush normally either, but on a rare occasion, perhaps I would.

  3. LOL, seriously – tell him to bring a toiletries kit. A man should have a basic toiletries kit in the car, that includes a tooth brush, tooth paste, shaving cream and razor and a bar of soap. Be prepared!

    But then again, most people aren’t prepared, so I’m not surprise your date didn’t bring a tooth brush.

  4. I’d share my toothbrush, but not my pills.

  5. Mika says:

    Could be a little awkward for a guy to show up with a “ho” bag containing his pjs and toiletries? A travel toothbrush could have been smuggled in if he was truly forward thinking. Boys.

  6. Get out of this. He is slowly tilting the balance of power. Besides, not paying attention to what you used to do for a living is your big red flag; huge sign he is not connected with you until Sunday, about 15 minutes before he knocks on your door. Trust me on this, I’m a guy.

  7. D says:

    What time was it when he said he “planned” to stay the night? If it was 9, yeah, that’s a little weird. But when it’s late I’ve more than once decided to stay thenight just because I don’t feel like going home late. And also because I love cuddling that leads to sleep.

  8. LadyD says:

    Ewww . . . I’m with Rufus on this one – let it go. Any man with 2 brain cells to rub together and a good sense of oral hygiene will bring along in a pocket (because guys all have lots of pockets) those little disposable tootbrush thingys they make now – they come 4 to a pack, for pete’s sake, and one can easily fit in any pocket, along with condoms. *sigh* Mind you, I always have an extra toothbrush in addition to my Sonicare, but please! You ain’t his mama. . . *sigh* Boys.

  9. misspinkles says:

    if he wanted a toothbrush but didn’t bring one, he should have ran to the closest 7/11 to get one.
    sharing a toothbrush is gross.

  10. I was taught as a child to never share toothbrushes. And still today, I don’t. Toothbrushes fall on “Personal Products You Don’t Share List.”

    -toothbrushes
    -underwear
    -swim wear
    -boys

    Basically, you don’t share any item coodies can be found. If not for any other reason than, to do so is yucky. FYI, toothbrush on a finger and mouth wash works wonders.

  11. HP says:

    But Rufus, isn’t she doing the exact same thing? I doubt she’s thinking much about him during the week other than the fact that they’re meeting at such and such time and place on Sundays. If he was thinking about her more than that then he wants more than what she is willing to give him. Simone’s already stated that she knows this will be going no where, so from a guy’s point of view, why invest more than these precious few hours. Granted this whole thing seems to be leading to less of a fuck buddy type of thing and more of a friends with benefits type of thing, so there is more of a sense of getting to know one another and stuff like that.

    As for the toothbrush thing, I’d find it kind of sleazy if some guy I was kinda seeing busted out a whole medicine cabinet on the off chance that he was going to spend the night. Unless he already has spent the night on numerous occasions, this would be very off putting to me. If he broke out one of those whisp things or those little finger tooth brush sleeves, than I would be okay with that. I’m with D, his asking to stay the night will completely depend on how late at night it was that he made the request.

    • Nope, not the same thing at all. Just because the “relationship” part will not progress beyond a “Sunday Boy” doesn’t mean that each experience should not have it’s own high level of quality. From a guy point of view, if the quality of the experience is not upheld, it will just get dull. Remembering details, the ability to have a conversation on a topic she knows something about, REMEMBERING she is an expert in that topic all contributes to the quality of the experience. Turning on and off for a few hours doesn’t contribute to the quality; it just lessens it over time with each experience. Quality men — even if they are just Sunday Boys — know this.

      The larger issue, though is the phycological manipulations going on here. I’m an older guy and I’ve seen and (not proud to admit) have used and perfected some of these techniques. They work.. for a while. Most guys execute clumsily, but I guess everyone needs practice time. Just saying that what Simone chose to disclose, her choice of language and tone just sends up a red flag. The toothbrush sharing, who cares, share, don’t share, doesn’t matter. It may have been an excuse to write a post around for the real issues.

      Again, I “butted in” too much :-)

  12. Dazediva says:

    I’ve always had a spare tooth brush in my bathroom – even now when I’m back living at home (and no boys will be staying over!). Due to the nature of my work, I always have a spare set of clothes, toiletries, under garments, and contact lenses in the car – so if I do choose to stay back at a guy’s place (friend or otherwise) at least I’m pretty set. And it’s not a ‘ho bag’ hahah

    As for Sunday boy, from what I understand he doesn’t live close by to you so if it was late and he thought about spending the night; that’s okay – but if it was early and he said it – the least he could do is go out and hook up a tooth brush.