It was a few months ago, I guess, and I was talking with a friend who’d had a relationship close call (she met a guy, thought he could be THE ONE and they had a couple of great weeks together… then he disappeared – almost a relationship, but not). She said the thing that upset her the most was that she’d been SO SURE he was a good guy. SO SURE. And then he pulled a fade, not even bothering to say goodbye.
Up til then, she felt like could trust her own judgment. And afterwards she couldn’t. Which can be worse than the guy breaking your heart and pulling a fade. Guys come and go, but not being able to trust your own judgment is a deep kind of hurt.
Anyway, I was thinking of her yesterday as I posted the Guy’s Story. It was kind of cool to see the same type of thing written from the male perspective. It’s one of those things I thought maybe only women did. Trust the wrong person and then obsess over the fact that we trusted the wrong person. I feel bad for Christian, but it’s nice to know it’s not just a chick thing.
FWIW, I have a major problem with this. The last time I trusted someone, really trusted someone, he hurt me more that I thought was possible. And the worst part of it (worst than the hurt, worst than the anger, worst than the sadness) was the self-doubt that came with knowing that I’d trusted someone who didn’t deserve it. Who wasn’t a good person and who didn’t care about my well-being. I was a bad judge of character. A very bad judge of character.
And that self-doubt has stayed with me, long after all of the other stuff (hurt, anger, sadness) passed.
Tags: judgment, self-doubt