In the comments to this week’s poll, a reader mentioned ‘The Princess Syndrome’
“where we’re made to feel like the best guy is the one that lavishes you with praise and attention”
I have never been made to feel that way. And, honestly, I have never wanted that from a relationship. Or had it.
Which leads me to this story – last night, I was leaving an event with a friend (it’s Blogher 10 here in NYC and even though I bought a full pass I’m both too busy and too overwhelmed with personal life stuff to go to much) and he was telling me a funny story about something that happened on a date, years ago. Early in the story, he said, “…and she asked me to give her a foot massage”. I could barely hear anything he said after that, because I couldn’t quite get my head around the idea of a woman, who wasn’t his girlfriend, ASKING for a foot massage (I wouldn’t really get it if it were his gf, either…).
This seemed implausible to me. Forget about the fact that he happily said yes.
Never in my wildest dreams would I ever, ever ask a man for a foot massage. Unless we were in a serious, committed relationship and I’d just done something really nice for him. And even then, I’m not so sure.
I just wasn’t raised that way, I guess. No, I know.
I was raised to believe that you don’t ask for things. Well, other people can. And I should deliver. But I shouldn’t ask. And I damn sure shouldn’t expect to be treated like a princess, by anyone. Ever.
Anyway, last night, when I told my friend that it seemed implausible to me that a date would ask for a foot massage he responded by saying that maybe I could use a little pampering. Or something like that.
I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. Uncomfortable, I guess. I don’t think this has anything to do with my self-esteem. It took me a long time to fight those demons, I won’t lie. But I fought them and won. I genuinely like myself and who I’ve grown up to become. I like the way I look and the life I’ve created (go ahead, call me arrogant, I won’t care). I’m good with me. I know I’m not perfect and if someone handed me a thousand dollars and told me I had to spend it on self-beautification I’d know exactly how to spend it, but…
Like I said, I really don’t get it. Would someone care to explain?
Tags: BlogHer, comments, date, funny story, poll, self-esteem, Spoiled, WTF