1) I never did hear from Mr. 3 Dates and it’s pretty certain at this point I never will. Oh well. I guess I dodged a bullet. I’m sure there are people who think that if I waited and told him after he knew me better that things would have ended up differently, but I don’t think so. I think he would have acted similarly after 5 dates, or 20 dates. This way I got less hurt.
AND, not to sound like sour grapes, because this really isn’t about that, but I also have to say that the whole thing with Mr. 3 Dates brought to mind a conversation I had with friends, not too long ago. You see, Mr. 3 Dates was a woo-er. He talked a big game about how much he liked me and wanted to spend time with me, well into the future. And, well, I didn’t not that that. I like being swept off my feet. I like having a guy woo me, being really into me from early on. I like (maybe to a pathological degree) the security that seems to bring. The sense that it’s safe to fall in love because I know, with relative certainty, that the guy likes me first/more. This isn’t something I ever realized until a friend pointed it out to me, btw. Mr. 3 Dates was wooing me. He was trying hard. And it was nice. Comforting. Hell, it’s been a while. This is not, however, the type of thing that makes for healthy relationships, in my experience.
2) I broke a major rule last week. I met someone who first contacted me via the blog. For a date. And it was nice. But I won’t be seeing him again. Not that he did anything wrong, or that I think it was bad to date someone who contacted me from this universe (maybe I’ll do it again). It’s just that he reminded me, too much, of someone I used to care deeply about. And not in a good way. All of the bad ways, in fact. So much so that it was kinda painful. So I shut that down before it could really start.
3) Lastly, yesterday I tweeted this, “Sometimes I need to remind myself – we teach people how to treat us. Accept bullshit -> receive more bullshit.” I was amazed by the number of retweets it got. I guess there are a lot of people who could relate. Which is comforting. As for accepting bullshit, I’m trying to get better about that. But the reality is, I’m still stuck in my lifelong pattern of taking way too much until I can’t take it anymore and then just walking away. Still, I’m only 40. Maybe this is the year I get it right.
Tags: blog, Relationships