Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


I know, I know… you’re all dying to read the second part of Skye’s story. Sorry, you’ll have to wait until next week.

In the meantime, back to me.  And my silly dating life. So remember the younger man? He’s still kinda, sorta in the picture.  We had plans for last week. But then I was feeling awful and cancelled at pretty much the last minute (I kept hoping the medicine I was taking would magically work, as I really did want to go out). He was cool about it and continued to regularly, though not every day. And I continued to reply, though not immediately, ’cause I really hate the dating by thing. Btw, I called him to cancel the and made a point of saying how much I prefer the phone.

Anyway, he texted this morning to see how I was doing and to see if I was up to going out tonight. Which I am. Up to going out tonight. And I am. With someone else. I have a date (, details sometime next week, I guess).

So I said I’d like to see him, another time this weekend.

Honestly, I’m not really looking forward to it.  I enjoyed the few dates we had.  But the momentum is totally gone.  And momentum can really make or break a new relationship. It’s been over 2 weeks since our last date. At this stage (between dates 3 and 4 with someone I’m just not sure about) that’s too long.

There’s a part of me that’s hoping he’s making this date just to break things off in person.  I can’t imagine why a man in NYC would do that after just 3 dates, but some people are really old-fashioned, that way.

And me, being me, I’m going to follow-through and go on the date.  Even though I’m not really feeling it. Because I hate the fact that this is someone who’s been nothing but wonderful to me and I’m feeling like I don’t really care one way or the other about seeing him again. But I can’t fix that. I can’t make myself feel something for him.

In other news, I had a pretty awesome date the other night.  I’ll write a little bit about that, soon.  But not too much.  I don’t want to jinx it.

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12 to “Momentum”

  1. Lena.FM says:

    Heartbreaker. :-) Hm, how do you know that the broken momentum man is not reading your blog?

    • Simone Grant says:

      I don’t know. He knows I’m a blogger. We’ve talked about it. He could be reading it/have read what I wrote in the past. And if that’s true then I guess I’d be relieved.

  2. Jen says:

    Will anyone ever be enough for you? No matter how kind, fun, considerate they are? Perhaps you have an addiction to the excitement of first, second dates, because it seems everyone bores you after that.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Has anything I’ve written made it sound like I find first, second or 3rd dates exciting? Um, where?

      I don’t. I find most of the process of dating to be tedious. Tedious but necessary. Because I need to do it to get to the part I really enjoy – spending time with a man I care about. CARE ABOUT. Kind, fun and considerate are all wonderful attributes. Attributes I absolutely look for in a guy. But they’re not enough to make me care about him.

      Maybe I’m different and other people fall in and out of love easily? IDK. That wouldn’t seem to be ideal, either.

  3. Jean says:

    Maybe I haven’t read enough of your blog to understand you, but I’m wondering why you would feel obligated to go out w/him again, esp if you don’t feel anything for him? Aren’t you afraid that you might be leading him on or encouraging him? If the momentum is gone, then I would take advantage of it if I were you. Sounds like you have plenty of other dates to keep you busy, so why spend time w/someone that you’re not into?

    And boo to Jen – just b/c someone is kind, fun, and considerate doesn’t mean that they’re a good match. And you don’t always know that on the first date. You know what you want, and you’ll know when you find it (him). In the meantime, keep looking & having fun doing it.

    • Simone Grant says:

      You ask a very legitimate question. I don’t know that I fully understand my own motivation here. I guess I fear making a mistake. I’ve made so many mistakes in dating and love (usually this involves falling for the wrong guy). I don’t want to let someone who could be “right” slip away without giving it every possible chance.

      Even though, I know. There’s really no chance at all.

      And thank you for understanding about my looking for a good match. And the support. It helps. Always.

  4. Jolene says:

    Momentum – yes, great way of putting it…and so true. Sort of happened with Southern Boy for me a few weeks ago and he swooped in with a text (dating by text – that’s a great way of putting THAT too!) and I’m sort of not feeling it either. So, you win some, you lose some! BUT I want to hear about your amazing date! and the one(s) this weekend!!

  5. I hear what you’re saying. I was dating this guy for three weeks and we had exactly three dates. The first date – fireworks! Then there was a definite downhill turn to our momentum as you call it. In the end he sent me a text message saying “We’ve gone as far as it will go.” Wtf? I wanted to send that to him. Damnit.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Ugh, that sucks. It’s such a hard balance. I don’t want to see a guy too much and let things go too fast (been there, done that – BIG MISTAKE) but then the slow, slow just kills it. In the end, I guess what’s gonna happen is gonna happen.

  6. michelle says:

    this is the 2nd time ive read the blog so help me out here…so you do date a lot… but how do you do it? are u subscribed to something? do u let other people set u up? what.. any tips?

    • Simone Grant says:

      Most of the men I write about I meet through online dating. I’m a big fan. You can read more about that by clicking on the Online Dating link under “Pick Your Poison”.