Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

You Don’t Look a Day Over…

You Dont Look a Day Over... batshit crazy  1095906 40834394 300x225It would be wrong of me to not mention the fact that I’ve been on a little unscheduled hiatus.  I’ve been here, in my apt.  Just not feeling very well.

Now, let’s get back to things…

Not too long ago, I arrived late to a party to find a friend of mine trapped in an unwanted conversation.  He was standing in a corner, looking cornered, talking with a guy who looked a little like one of my uncles.

I walked over, introduced myself to the stranger and then helped my friend escape.

The first thing my friend said to me as we walked away was, “Guess how old that guy is?”

I didn’t reply.

“Three years younger than me.”  Which made the guy who looked like my uncle a year younger than me.

My friend went on to talk about how strange it was to talk to that guy.  How, by his late 30s, he’d completely turned into an old man. Not just the way he looked, but his attitudes…

It’s certainly not an isolated incident.  I’ve certainly gone out with men who seemed cool online and then seemed awfully middle-aged when we met.

Middle-aged.  It’s such a vague term.  My entire childhood I thought of my parents as middle-aged. Yet I was 10 when my mom was my age. So what does that make me?

OK, I’m babbling.  I know.  It’s my first day back.  Give me a break.

Here’s what’s got me thinking of this.  I’ve gone out a few times with a guy who is 8 years my junior.  That’s still messing with my head.  Especially as he continues to be supersweet, texting me daily (even when I’m not so prompt with the replies).  And I keep on getting new messages from Match.com men who are (occasionally much) younger than me.   And, of course, messages from (some of whom look awesome for their age and I do have a thing for hot older guys so…).

This age thing. Maybe it is just a number?


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8 to “You Don’t Look a Day Over…”


  1. Jolene says:

    I have issues with age too..I don’t know why I get so hung up on it – even more so if they are younger than me. Went on a few dates with a 27 yr old – 3 years younger – and that seemed to be pushing it for me, yet, I also dated someone 11 years older, and that worked out ok for awhile, and it wasn’t the age thing that ended it anyway, but I guess we all have our comfort zones? My comfort zone is two years younger – max – and 5-6 years older – that’s a little more flexible for me. But at the end of the day…it IS just a number as long as maturity levels align, right??

  2. Mal Kovich says:

    Texting you daily? At what point does that go from supersweet to creepy.

  3. Terry says:

    When you get to my age– then you say the age thing is a number.

    I don’t think men mature until their late 30′s — ok, maybe that was just me and the immature folk I hang out with. It doesn’t mean we cannot make mistakes – but sometime in our late 30′s, maybe early 40′s – we figure out who we are and then what life is about. Given my history- I am just glad I had the chance to get to this part of life, because — well, nevermind.

    Still- sometime people would find me fairly young and at other times– an old coot. (ok, maybe a dirty old man).

    As far as men who are persistent and call and text – well, you can make of it what you will — but in my experience it is a successful tactic. Some of us figured that out- some didn’t

    • Mal Kovich says:

      Maybe it is a successful tactic eventually, but I think a guy would need boatloads of self esteem to handle the cases where it makes him look creepy to the woman. There’s a fine line between being persistent and being needy.

  4. Ann says:

    I feel like the older I get, the less age seems to matter. What matters more is that you’re both going in the same direction. And there are times in life where we are lucky enough to meet people who change our minds. Only you know how you feel, and that’s what matters more than anything else.

  5. Esme says:

    I get really hung-up on age. I dated a guy 7 years younger then me and wound up ending it due to my own insecurities. I look back now and think I made a bad mistake. He was the nicest guy I have been out with. I really messed that one up. My loss…

    I really like your blog. Do you mind if I link to it on mine?
    Love, Esme

  6. Sandyvs says:

    I think that as you age, your numbers are going to get more and more blurry. (No pun intended there, but hey…..)
    I also agree with Terry about the maturity of men. For years, I’ve stated that men aren’t worth much until they reach their 40′s. (Give or take a few years.) That’s when their priorities seem to shift and they realize that a good relationship is worth more than the $ and posessions they’ve been trying to attain.

  7. Dash says:

    I agree with the commentors. I seldom date guys my age. My involvement with men older and WAY older than me have seemed to work the best. My guy is 7 years older than me and it’s working out very well. However, I wouldn’t discount someone who is young too…because I get aggravated when people judge me based on my age…saying people under 25 don’t know jack. Well, actually I beg to differ. I know people my age (my friends), 23-25 year olds that trump a 40+ in wits, intelligence and even etiquette, among other things. If you’re an inherent idiot you will remain that way forever. With time does come wisdom but if an individual had great parents (I did!)and influences in their lives and a sharp mind…age really is just a number. Show me what you got and your age is irrelevant!