Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Back to Those Feelings

It hit me this morning, as I was frantically rushing through some work and personal/family stuff so that I could go visit a friend later in the day -> I’m not dead inside.

Sometimes, when I’m dating (maybe most of the time) I wonder if maybe there’s something wrong with my heart. I date and go through the motions and wait… hoping to feel something for some new or another.  And I blame myself when I don’t. Feel anything beyond casual fondness.

But my heart works fine.  I have and family who I care deeply for. Who I worry about. Who I’ll turn my world upside down to spend time with, when they need me.

So if I’m not feeling it for a guy, it’s not because I’m dead inside.  I’m just not feeling it for him.

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5 to “Back to Those Feelings”

  1. Zoë says:

    YES. Totally. I had a recent experience where I was dating one guy, not feeling it entirely but continuing to date him. Then *wham* I meet Guy #2, who makes me flustered, I can’t stop thinking about and feeling for and the contrast couldn’t be more dramatic. The thing was, after dating months of Guy #1s, I had completely forgotten that it was possible to feel that strongly for a man. I had intellectualized everything but then I realized I no longer could do that, as being smitten takes over your heart and your brain can’t do a damned thing about it.

    Ultimately, you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel that way. For the time being, yes, you are lovable and loving and not incapable at all of falling in love. You definitely will feel something for the right man.

  2. Terry says:

    No my dear- you are not dead inside. And yes- you do have a heart. And somehow, my blog this morning is a bit like yours– in a weird way.

  3. Lara says:

    You are one of the least “dead inside” women I know.

  4. Agreed. It’s the classic, “Them, NOT YOU.”

  5. C says:

    I”ve had that same problem. Especially in college, I dated a guy who would make me feel so bad that I wasn’t attracted to him. So when I finally met someone I was attracted to, I hung on to that person even though he ended up being crap. So yes, I have a heart, but now I wonder if I’m only attracted to crap. –So I dated and had sex with a guy that was really nice, but I wasn’t attracted to. He never called me back…Hmm… Lesson learned. there are no guaruntees so we might as well go with her heart.