Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

In Case You’re Keeping Score

In Case Youre Keeping Score dating update  165334 5557 300x177So about those 3 good-ish first dates last week. All 3 guys asked me out for second dates.  And I said yes to all 3.

But then the plans fell through with one of them. We had concert tickets (Joao Gilberto at Carnegie Hall) but the show was cancelled. I declined his suggestion that we go for dinner instead, as I was exhausted.  And then we had tentative plans for the weekend that never worked out – completely my fault.  Truth is, I chose downtime over him and I don’t regret that choice.

I had a perfectly pleasant second date on Saturday night – the classic dinner and a movie date (he bought the tickets in advance and made dinner reservations, bonus points for good planning).  We had fun and I enjoyed his company, but I couldn’t truthfully see him as a romantic partner.  He’s just so buttoned up and formal. And I’m so…not.  Really, really not.  He sent me an email the next morning, which I replied to about a day later (my reply was positive, just not enthusiastically so). And I haven’t heard from him since.  I’m not sad.

Bachelor number is the Younger Man. He and I have now had 3 dates.  The other night he cooked me dinner (bbq on his terrace) and things got a bit more intimate between us.  And no, I didn’t spend the night.  He asked if I would and I said no.

I like him. But I also feel that I should like him more than I do. He is everything I’ve been asking for in a guy. Kind, caring, thoughtful. And he’s made more of an attempt to get to know me as a person in 3 dates than, well, any guy I’ve dated in years.  Actually, it’s a little freaky, having a man I barely know take so much interest in my life. I’m not always sure how to respond and I’m sure I come off as a bit of a freak.

Maybe, after so many years of dating emotionally distant, controlling jerks I need time to adjust to being with someone like him?  Someone good.  Maybe that bigger feeling of like will happen when the shock wears off?

The younger man knows I’m a , and knows I about dating and relationships. And he says he has no interest in knowing my pen name or the name of the (and I choose to believe him when he says he hasn’t looked for it/found it – for now).  I don’t really see this making my blogging life any more or less complicated, as I’ve always been careful to not write anything that might upset anyone I like.

Anyway, he’s away for the long weekend and we’ve exchanged the obligatory “have a great weekend tweets”.  I don’t see him as my new (potential) boyfriend.  No where near that yet.  I plan to continue the manshopping and dating, following through on other plans I have.  And I’m going to assume he’s doing the same.

This is how we play the game…


Tags: , , ,

6 to “In Case You’re Keeping Score”


  1. I’m glad your experience with a younger fellow went better than mine. Two dates and I was bored. I knew we didn’t have the chemistry and I was tired of just filling my empty time. Exciting…keep us posted.

  2. Lena.FM says:

    Aaaaaaaaaaaw, I like your Young Man! Reminds me of my boyfriend (http://blog.shankbone.org/2010/03/30/six-reasons-why-adults-suck <=== not PR, I just don't want to retype the whole thing).

    Good like darling, I hope you find some joy in this boy.

  3. Manisha B says:

    If I were you, I’d secretly wish he thinks of me more than I of him, misses me and calls me on that weekend away, and hopefully has fallen for me more than I have for him! ;)

  4. Jolene says:

    hmm..I am LIKING the younger guy!! I say bonus points for dinner on the terrace and seeming to have NO interest in finding the pen name and blog! I’m intrigued…can I date him?! just kidding, well, sort of ;)

  5. Kelly says:

    Why not enjoy the company of the younger man? Who is it hurting? If you enjoy, just keep rolling with it and see how things evolve. Have fun. xo

  6. Morag says:

    I’m new to your blog and am so glad a friend recommended it to me. I’m recently out of a long term relationship and can totally relate to many things you mention in your post. The prospect of a full-time relationship is exhausting, but the alternative — totally single — isn’t appealing either. Keep going at a pace *you’re* comfortable with, and check in when needed with the guy to see if he’s cool with it. It will probably be such a novelty for a guy to hear some one say, “let’s keep it slow” that I don’t think you can lose with the honest approach.