Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

It’s a Feeling (you stupid cow)

I had a strange weekend.  At first, it look like I’d overbooked myself with , dates, obligations, friends I wanted to see and things I wanted to do.  And then, Friday afternoon, I realized that a lot of the things on my calendar were non-essentials.

The dates, for example.  I didn’t really want to go on all of them.  They seemed more like “good ideas” than appointments I wanted to keep.  Notice the difference there, ideas = thoughts. As opposed to wanting = feeling.

So I decided that it was probably better for my mental and emotional to do what I wanted with my weekend.  I kept the family stuff and the work (gotta work, need the $$) and saw friends.  And instead of going on dates with men that I really didn’t want to see, I did things for me.  To recharge.

There are lots of things I do wrong when it comes to dating.  Plenty.  But a top my many sins is probably overthinking things.  I think and think and think.  All the while ignoring my . Stupid cow.


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6 to “It’s a Feeling (you stupid cow)”


  1. Terry says:

    I am orthodox with sin – it means missing the mark. Doesn’t mean stupid – just means you fired, and missed — old archery term.

    You work hard, my dear – very hard- and given the choice between work and rest – you work. So taking a weekend off for you– well, please take it when you can get it.

    But I won’t let you call yourself stupid – nope – can’t let you do that.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Sorry darling, that’s my way. I don’t mean anything by it (and don’t go around casually calling other people stupid cows).

      I do think it’s important for me to remind myself, over and over, that’s it about feelings. And to pay attention to my feelings. Otherwise I just end up wasting a bunch of time.

  2. I feel the same way. I have a date this Thursday and I don’t want to go, but everyone keeps telling me I have “to get out there.” Well “there” sucks right now. I’d rather be chilling out at home writing or eating pop tarts.

    I like how you put it: “The dates, for example. I didn’t really want to go on all of them. They seemed more like “good ideas” than appointments I wanted to keep.”

    You’ve got it right.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Well, please never use me as an example of “good behavior”. I date a lot. In spurts, mostly, nowadays. And, FWIW, I do think there’s a benefit to getting out there and just doing it (as practice). But then I also need to make time for me. Ugh, that doesn’t make any sense.

  3. Katie says:

    Its really good to take time out just for ‘me’.
    Especially to recharge. You sound like a very busy woman.

    Maybe you should get some pampering, might also make you feel at peace.

    Later