So everyone knows that Simone Grant is a pen name. No big deal. My family doesn’t know about the blog and I don’t tell the guys I date up front. I have told a couple of them, at random times, kinda like an experiment. And a couple others have found out. None of that truthfulness went particularly well, btw.
Honestly, it’s not that hard to find out. To figure the whole damn thing out, I mean.
Which brings me to last night’s date. Damn, I made a mess.
Last night was my 2nd date with the Younger Man. On our first date he checked into foursquare, making a point of showing me that he was checking in. I’d told him I was in social media, so… During our date I let several big clues drop. Big clues. Things that, if he were to spend 3 minutes on google he would have figured out my online persona and then found the blog.
So I went into last night’s date with the assumption that he knew. Because I assume that that’s the type of thing people do (remember clues that people drop about themselves and then google the shit out of them).
Needless to say, I was on edge. And when I’m on edge, I have a hard time being in the moment. I just kept thinking that he knew and wasn’t telling me and that we were playing some silly game. So eventually I asked. In the most ridiculous, tongue-tied, dumb-ass way imaginable, I asked him if he’d figured out who my online persona was.
And then we had this really weird conversation where he thought I was disappointed that he hadn’t googled things I said. Because he hadn’t. Or he said he hadn’t, I guess it’s possible he was lying, but I don’t see that. And I told him that I wasn’t, at all, disappointed that he hadn’t, but I thought he might and that had caused me to stress out.
Anyway, he guessed from my complete freakishness that I had a dating blog and I offered to tell him the name/my name and he declined. He said he didn’t need to know and just asked that I didn’t write anything that would get him in trouble at his work (and I assured him it wasn’t that kind of blog, I don’t do those details). But we all know that now that he knows I have a dating blog it would take him less than a minute to find it.
Arghhhh.I don’t even know what to say. I’m feeling kinda awful and icky about the whole thing. By handling the blog disclosure as poorly as I did, I made it impossible for me to enjoy the date. The funny thing is, he seemed fine with it all. He texted goodnight last night and again this morning to ask me out, again.