The details might change from lunch to lunch, but the basics are always the same. We’re exchanging messages with some guys. Maybe even lots of them. And going on dates. And it’s all fine. It’s a process.
If only it wasn’t such a frustrating process. So needle-in-a-haystack-y. And if only more guys followed through. If only.
At which point I said something about it never being about YOU/US until you actually meet a person. If a guy decides he doesn’t want to meet you based on your profile – so what? That’s just your profile. He’s not rejecting you. I’ve written about this ‘theory’ before, in greater detail.
Anyway, I really believed it when I said it. And when I wrote it. And the dozens of other times I’ve said something similar. But then yesterday morning I was in a funk because it was officially more than 48 hours since I’d heard from a guy I’d been exchanging messages with. One I was starting to like (it didn’t matter that there were a half dozen others I was in the date-planning stage with). We’d exchanged several emails, he’d mentioned talking and I’d supplied my number and then nothing. No call and no reply email for 48 hours.
I cared. It mattered. Which is the way it goes sometimes. One part of my brain is saying one thing and the rest is shouting something else.
In this case; brain part A = He’s just some guy you’ve exchanged a few emails with. You’re not even sure what he looks like as he’s using bad pics. Stop thinking about it. It doesn’t matter. the rest of my brain = He’s the smartest, funniest, sweetest man you’ve had the opportunity to date in years and now he’s gone. This sucks.
Neither smart nor rational, I know. But that’s what I was thinking and feeling. And then, sometime around midday, I got an email from him. He apologized for the delay (and told me his excellent reason for not getting back to me sooner) and then suggested we speak that night. Which we did. And it was nice.
He mentioned meeting later in the week (schedules permitting) and I’ll admit that I’m looking forward to that. Which, again, isn’t smart or rational. I know that it’s much better to go into our first date with ZERO expectations. No hope.
But dammit, I can’t control myself. I’ve got hope and it won’t got away.
Tags: date, guy, online dating profiles