So last night I was talking with friends about one of our relatives. He doesn’t read this blog, doesn’t even know about it, we think. But I’m going to be discreet and not include too many biographical details, just because.
He’s almost 40. And as far as anyone knows, a virgin. In fact, we’re all pretty much 100% certain of it.
Back in his 20s, he used to talk about wanting a girlfriend. Frequently, in fact. But he never got one. Has never had one.
And like anything else in life, the longer you let a problem (I realize that sounds VERY judgmental, calling his virginity a problem, but that’s not what I mean) fester the harder it is to eventually deal with it.
You see, this guy is painfully shy. PAINFULLY SHY. And yet back, 15 years ago he used to force himself to go to “singles” types events in the hopes that something would magically happen. But nothing even did. Because in addition to being shy, he’s the kind of person who doesn’t really know how to take the initiative in social situations. He waits for people to talk to him. Waits for other people to make decisions. Waits and waits and waits.
Anyway, we were talking about it last night and the fact that we all wished there was something we could DO. To help. But the truth is, what could a friend or relative do (in real life, not in a movie)? Force him to go to the gym and take better care of himself and then hire a matchmaker? That’s the other thing, in his 20s he could’ve passed for cute but he’s completely stopped taking care of himself in recent years, making a bad situation even worse. I must admit joking about hiring him a hooker (not seriously, more theoretically). But his issue isn’t so much about sex but the social/romantic stuff that goes with dating.
As is so often the case, I have no point. No advice or moral to this story. I’d love to hear what others think. Do you know people like him, and if so, do you know anyone who was able to get their social/romantic shit together late(r) in life? I’d like to think he can and believe it’s never too late, for anyone/anything. Right now, though, his situation just makes me shake my head.
Tags: blog, family, girlfriend, shy, virgin