Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Best Revenge

So last night I was watching Law & Order (one of them).  Well, I wasn’t so much watching it as had it on in the background while I was answering emails.

I couldn’t quite follow the whole show, it seemed to be jumping around.  But one thing stood out.  There were several female characters (suspects) who expected some guy to leave his wife for them.  Then the wife ended up dead.

I’ve written before about my thoughts on married men and dating them (I don’t/don’t think it’s a good thing but as with all things I refuse to condemn other people for the way they choose to live their lives).  That said, I’m always amazed when I hear the phrase, “he promised he’d leave his wife”. I’ve heard it in real life, from friends/acquaintances, on more than one occasion and I never know how to react.  I kinda want to say, “are you serious?”.  Because it just doesn’t sound like the type of thing any grown woman should believe.

Big sloppy tangent here – I love Postsecret. Who doesn’t? This secret was shown this Sunday, with the following note:

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13 to “The Best Revenge”

  1. missdtm says:

    Umm yea! Not sure what grown ass woman would believe that mess. As for this postsecret-how amazing is this? I loved the irony of it all.

    • Simone Grant says:

      yeah. But I didn’t mean that in a snarky way. The truth is, I know a couple of really smart women who started to date men who the believed to be divorced, fell in love with them and then chose to stay and believe the lie. I feel bad for them, more than anything.

      • Sandyvs says:

        Even if I fell in love with a man that I believe to be single, once I found out he LIED to me, it would be over. No matter how painful it would be, or how much I love a person, I will NOT be in a relationship that is not good for me. I’d rather they hurt me with the truth than make me feel good with a lie.

  2. Kira says:

    I agree. He is no keeper if he is a creeper.

  3. Sandyvs says:

    I agree with you on this. I feel there are plenty of single assholes out there, so why mess with a married one? There is NOTHING good in it for me at all. I also want no part of causing someone else any kind of pain and I really do believe in good karma/bad karma, and what goes around comes around.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Yep. That said, I’ve never met a woman who actively pursues married men. I’m sure they must exist. Surely. I mean, there’s a whole stereotype around single women going after married men, so it must happen. But I’ve never seen it with my own eyes.

  4. Terry says:

    Ah- now I can be the married man! Yes, Simone- there are women who will pursue married men- actively- and with verve! I find them — well dangerous.

    Still – people meet, people fall in love- and people change their status all the time. Judging them is silly.

  5. Kelly says:

    I agree with Terry…judging them is silly. It’s sad when friends I know hang on to relationships like this that go nowhere. But the married people in these situations should really make a clear decision…work on the marriage, or leave it. Anything else is half-assed living.

  6. Manisha B says:

    Ive been a regular visitor at postsecret since the last 3 years maybe, and its opened my mind to the diversity of human nature. Most secrets involve a woman scorned by her lover for cheating on her. And I just nod my head, thinking, why are women so gullible and naiive.

  7. Black Iris says:

    He promised to leave his wife? Tee hee. He also promised to stay with her. There are only two things you can be sure about with a cheater – he lies to the people he loves and he breaks promises. But I have no qualms about judging – if you don’t care about hurting his wife, you deserve whatever pain you get.

  8. It’s totally true. Any dude who leaves his wife or even serious girlfriend for someone else will probably do the same thing. No big deal, I’m still waiting for my ex-boyfriend, who left me for another woman while we were dating, to leave her, but apparently they’re engaged now. What is that even about?