Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

3 Months

3 Months online dating dating update  739769 70645023 300x225It’s been a little more than 3 months since I started to use Match and Chemistry (and stopped using and nerve.com).  The time flew by, and to be honest, I haven’t made the most of my memberships.  I could have/should have spent more time working at it. Especially , which really encourages members to spend time exchanging info, short questions/answers, details all before you start sending messages.

I’m the first person to say that online dating takes effort.  My efforts over the past 3 months have been inconsistent at best.

At first, I was relatively serious about it and I did meet Mr. Midwest on .  He’s a good guy, despite the fact that we didn’t work out.  If I knew a woman who I thought would get along well with him, I wouldn’t think twice about setting them up.

Then I took a little break from the game… And then, well.  I meant to get back into it but life got in the way.

So here’s where I am now: I’ve recently started to communicate with several men on Match.  I’ll write more on them, their specifics, later in the week.  I’m out of town for the next couple of weeks which leaves plenty of time for any or all of them to disappear or not (let’s be honest, people flake). Maybe I’ll continue to exchange messages with all of them or even chat a bit on the phone and I’ll have a string of dates set up for when I get to town.  That would be nice. My 3 months freebie on match ran out last week and I bought myself a brand new 3 months membership. So there’s that. I’ve invested.  I’m invested.  And hopeful.

As for Chemisty, I’m pulling the plug on that experiment.  While I have nothing but respect for Dr. Helen Fisher, I really don’t like the way the site is designed and works. It moves so slow.  And the men on the site all seem to move slow, too (I don’t need to exchange tons of info before talking/going out on a date – I see online dating as online meeting).



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6 to “3 Months”


  1. Jolene says:

    COMPLETELY agree with you on chemistry.com. I am so underwhelmed by it, and haven’t had a ton of luck either. Slow moving, and did you notice many men had the lame “ask me for my picture” thing going on? That drives me crazy…and then when you ask for it, you usually don’t get it. NEXT! ;-) Not that looks are everything but they do count for something.

  2. Mal Kovich says:

    @Jolene – you’re not going to get very far dating online without a picture, just like you wouldn’t get very far with a picture and a blank profile.

  3. LadyD says:

    Been on Match off and on for years. Went back on in January, met a guy, dated until March, broke up. Foo. Tried Chemistry again – WTF?? I’m urban, FIT, attractive (a hard “8″), educated, work for lawyers, and why are these “matches” fat, ugly, live in BFNowhereville (aka 20+ miles from downtown Seattle where I live), and we have NOTHING in common? OK, delete myself, that was a WASTE of $$! I have not tried eHarmony, curious about it. I, too, am 40 and never married; never wanted to be before this time in my life – usually date much younger, now am on 2nd & 3rd dates with 37 & 40, respectively. Both divorced with kids – hmm. I did the kid thing years ago but it sucked; nothing like being in flagrante delicto and have a 4-yr. old walk in on you – ugh. But – I’m 40 now and have to be open – *sigh* Match has a lotta guys; in Seattle where I live, it’s filled with Microsofties! The last 2 guys I dated were Microsoft, the 40-yr. old now is, and the 37-yr. old had been but now has his own biz – hmm . . . they are out there, you just have to put forth the effort! Good luck!

  4. trininista says:

    I have friends who have found husbands on these sites, and have heard and read all the success stories and thought, maybe I was that 1% that had no success at all.