Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

You Winked?

You Winked? online dating dating update  320px SMirC wink 300x300I’m back in the game again.  Well, not completely.  I dipped a toe in last week, taking the time to sort through my and do a quick search to see if anyone interesting popped up.

And sure enough, amongst the messages (many of which were the typical, “you’re cute” which I usually just ignore) were plenty of .

Winks.  The lowest form of .

So I looked at the guys who sent them, because I felt I had to at least look, and a couple of them seemed somewhat interesting (with well thought out profiles, etc). And so I decided that instead of ignoring the winks I’d see if I could provoke the guys to make more of an effort.

I didn’t want to just wink back.  That seemed lame.  So instead I sent a one line email, “You winked at me?”

Both guys replied.  One with a very long, incredibly well-written message.  It was sweet and smart and totally charming.  The other replied, too.  But from him I got the equivalent of, “you’re cute”, so I’m not so interested.

Anyway, we’ll see if any of this goes anywhere.  Truthfully, I’m going to be out of town for much for the next month, so it’s a really crappy time for me to start dating again.  But it’s kinda nice to know that when I’m ready, there might be cool guys out there.


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10 to “You Winked?”


  1. Yep, I just reactivated my account over the weekend. I agree with this wholeheartedly; “Winks. The lowest form of online dating communication.” But like you, if I get one from anyone even remotely interesting I’ll write a one-liner back and see what happens. After all, it’s the site that gives this option and as long as it’s there, people will use it.

  2. Zoë says:

    FANTASTIC. Now why didn’t I think of that? I usually winked back, silly me. Or ignored them until they actually wrote an email. ;)

  3. Jolene says:

    Woohoo! I say, bring it on sista! :)

  4. Sandy says:

    I like this post because I met my fiance on facebook, when he poked me (the fb equivalent to a wink, I think). I sent him a simple question mark and he responded with a charming and articulate (albeit short) message detailing exactly why he found my profile interesting. Best of luck with winker #1.

  5. Lifebeginsat30ty says:

    I only respond to winks if they’re gorgeous. I write: ‘i bet you wink at all the girls ;)’

  6. Lisa says:

    I too met my husband through a “wink” or “poke”- I forgot what Match calls them. Anyway, he winked at me, I winked back, he followed with an email…the rest is history! Ladies, try not to be so picky! The odds are in your favor in the online dating world; I have heard my husband’s friends say they have to write many women just to get one response back. So, a wink for them could just be a test if an email would even be read.

  7. peter says:

    winking is same has saying i’m interested so it is best to write a short reply to find out more about them

  8. Marie says:

    I think ‘Winks’ are old but still effecting to show emotions.

  9. KB IN NYC says:

    Simone, I’m stealing that line if that’s alright by you. I don’t mind if a guy winks at me. If I’m interested I’ll write him back. But I have to admit, when I wink at a guy it’s usually because I’m being lazy. But whatever. I’ll take whatever online winking action I can get.

    XKB

  10. And how do we decipher the wink when we respond w/ a short email and get no response at all? Was it an accidental wink? I would prefer a button that says, “I like your profile! If you liked mine, click here!”