Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Laughing and Crying

The countdown has begun. In under 10 days I will turn 40.

All things considered, I’m feeling pretty good about it. All things considered.  I’m not going to talk much about my plans because, frankly, those are for my real life. The life that exists without social media. No tweeting, no facebook, no blogging about it in advance.

I will say a few things about those plans though, as they are relevant to the post. I’d originally planned a large, non-traditional party. And things got complicated in ways that were stressing me out and so I stopped planning. I decided that I didn’t need the .

Instead I’m doing some things I truly love with people I really like.  What more could I ask for?


The other day I was practically catatonic with sadness because none of the people I’m closest to in the world could spend time with me on my birthday.  Some just live too far away, and others are too busy/had other commitments. Oh, and a member scheduled a rather large occasion on my birthday, not realizing the conflict. So my will be off celebrating with someone else. And I’m a grown-up so I get that these things happen. It’s only a date on the calendar. But it made me unbearably sad, for a little while. In the way that these things can.

I felt lonely, knowing the people I loved the most wouldn’t be with me. Also, because there’s no one in the world whose job it is to be there, just for me.

Anyway, I got over it when I remembered a silly thing I heard once.  I’m not sure where: With each birthday we should look back at the previous year.  And, in theory, we should have plenty to laugh about and cry about. If we’re not laughing and crying, then our year was lacking in passion and joy (or something like that).

When I look back at this year, um, I’m not afraid to admit that I could cry for hours. I had my heart stomped on (again), massive business stress, family stress, health stuff to worry about.  I’m gonna stop there.  Suffice it to say, I have plenty to cry about.

I also have plenty to laugh about.  This year has been filled with joy. Lots and lots of joy.  Some of it comes from here on the blog.  I love writing and I love having an audience that actually thinks my words are worth reading.  BIG JOY.  And being a blogger has made me a member of a community, a community of fabulous people I wouldn’t have met otherwise, many of whom are now friends of mine.  MORE JOY.

So I’ll be 40 in less than 10 days.  I’ll be getting together with a small group of friends to celebrate.  And the past year has been filled with passion and joy.  That pretty much sums it up.

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13 to “Laughing and Crying”

  1. LuckyBroad says:

    Let me be the first to say, in advance, a VERY VERY Happy Birthday. The opportunity to meet you in this past year-ish is definately on my list of things to be happy about.

  2. iamalejandra says:

    Need I remind you that another reason to laugh about is the fact that in the last year you met your #1 groupie? <3

  3. anny says:

    The countdown begins!!!! You know, they say, life begins at 40… and 40 may be the new 30… or is it 20 now? Anyway, it all means you have lots more joy and tears to experience in this journey – hopefully life will bring you much more joy than tears over the next 40… and we’re here to celebrate with you (virtually speaking)! Congrats and enjoy every moment of the countdown and beyond!

  4. You are awesome my dear! Don’t let sad/annoying moments hide the beautiful life you have!
    All the best, ALWAYS!

  5. Ed says:

    I am happy to be part of the audience that feels your words are worth reading! :)

  6. Ian says:

    Happy birthday for 10 days time. And when I look back on my year I’ll count stumbling across your blog as one of the joys.

  7. Kelly says:

    Early happy birthday to you! I’ve heard that saying before too about looking back and how much joy/ sadness you experienced—this has made my birthdays much more meaningful.
    I’m really sorry your plans didn’t turn out as expected. Usually when that happens though, it’s because something cool and exciting will take YOUR plan’s place…you just don’t know what it is until it happens.
    Happy birthday. xo

  8. Simone Grant says:

    And now I have more to smile and laugh about – you’re all pretty freakin awesome!

  9. jane says:

    Happy Birthday Dear Simone, this is some word , maybe will cheer you up,

    Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ( Buddha )

    You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection. (Buddha)

  10. Kate Morris says:

    From one Taurus to another, Happy Birthday 10 days early. This was an awesome one for me, thank you again for the well wishes, so I send my good birthday karma to you. I had just about the same thing happen to me (everyone was busy) but my best friend came through and we went to a “The Princess Bride” Quote Along tonight. Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, wonderful place.

    Anyway, wishing you all the best. Age is just a number, and you have the carefree and loving soul of a 29 year old. Screw the physical age, you are what you feel.

  11. Simone Grant says:

    Thanks so much, ladies.
    As it so happens, Kate, I’m a Gemini. Born on the 22nd, right after the Cusp. And, if you believe in these things, I’m very much a Gemini. There are 2 of me – the introvert and the extrovert. Ms. Mellow and OCD chick. Really, it’s not surprise I have trouble finding men I mesh with as they have to mesh with both of me :-)

  12. Constance says:

    Wishing you a wonderful birthday. The 40th is momentous but there’s no need for a huge shindig. Better to share it with some very special people.

  13. Terry says:

    Damn- another Gemini– I was born on the 23rd of May – . Sorry I can’t be there for your birthday =