A Practical Answer
Today is Sunday, and you know what that means – another great Guy’s Story.
“Sometimes I write to explore deep themes of male-female relationships. Sometimes it’s to bear my soul anonymously in what can only be described as an unbridled Freudian quest for female approval, but sometimes I write just to answer a practical question from my little corner of the world. This is one of those times.
I have been asked often by female friends, my sisters, even acquaintances. “Why is it, the days I look like sh*t, in (insert bumming-around clothes option here) with no makeup, probably sweaty from the gym, guys are ALL about me??” It’s this kind of disproportionate attention that has led some of my female friends to contemplate never wearing anything but yoga pants and tank tops. It’s prompted this male to wish they would….why?
Why in a city of amazing women propped on amazing high heels exhibiting ever raising hem lines and ever-plunging neck lines (especially in the summer, and yes, thank you) is the ladies slightly sweat-glistened heading back from the gym around the corner that drive us wild? I shall attempt to give you a male perspective…
- Get over it-you’re hot. Fashion designers have finally figured out what straight men have known since we started walking *ahem* erect. A woman’s ass is hot. It’s simple, but yes it’s a fact. And ladies, I know many of you are self conscious about the derriere. Don’t be. Same goes for that little pooch, or that little extra around the thighs. We love them all, and odds are unless you need to be hoisted out of your house with a crane, we don’t care if every square inch of you isn’t Giselle-perfect (in fact we probably really like it).
- It’s not intimidating. I tend to think of myself as a sort B+ attractive guy. If you saw me on the street I wouldn’t turn your head, but I think I’d at least flash on the average woman’s radar. It’s that sense that gives me balance between settled confidence and jackass arrogance. However, if I’m wearing slacks and a polo shirt and you come strutting up 5th ave in a pencil skirt, and heels, I’ll know you’re out of my league, especially at the moment. Like it or not ladies, the power outfit around the office might scare off a few guys at starbucks.
- It’s real. Chris Rock once said (paraphrasing) “everything about a woman is a lie, you got lipstick on-your lips aint that red, you got heels on-you aint that tall, you got a wonderbra on-your titties aint that big!” There’s nothing worse as a guy than seeing a woman out and about and thinking this is the woman you’re going to end up hitting on/dating/taking home only to handed the utter shock-and-awe of what she looks like the morning after. It’s something, I think, women don’t really have to deal with. You see me on the street and for the most part, what you see is what you get. We men love you in your sweat pants because the edifice is down. This is you in the raw and if we find you hot now, things can only get better.
I hope this gives you a little insight into the male mind and why coming home from yoga class, we’re gonna be interested. Can’t wait to see the comment section!”
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Fantastic post ! As woman – I’m glad to know that unlike the superficial males out there – at least you are quite aware that women do have another side to them =)
I’m so glad I at least make an effort with a coordinated gym outfit hahah I have noticed the eyes turning when I walk up to the gym … but being in Bombay – the street crowd is NOT the kind of attention that a woman wants LOL
But thank you so much for pointing out that there are regular nice guys out there that are not all about the size 0′s and plastered in make-up look =)
Thank you Anonymous. I think you hit the nail on the head.
Excellent post into the seemingly complex minds of men. I was recently told by an attractive photographer male friend that he prefers a woman who doesn’t wear makeup. He likes a girl best when she first wakes up in the morning. When she’s au natural. I have to admit, I was a little shocked at this confession, but reading your post makes it all clear. I definitely get more men approaching me when I’m wearing more casual clothes than when I’m dressed for work or for a posh night out. Time to rethink my wardrobe choices….
I really enjoyed reading this. It’s interesting to read what men really think about us when we feel unattractive. Thanks for posting!
I realize that I have no idea about men (and how you think). Not really. A lot of the time I’m dressing for my girlfriends, because us women are like that (when it comes to fashion we like approval from our fellow ladies). But from now on I’m definitely going to rock my yoga look more often. And remember that my chic dress with fabulous heels might not get me my man.
Great post – thanks for the insights.
This makes a lot of sense to me. My boyfriend doesn’t like makeup and I’ve never been inclined to wear it, my personal taste tends to be colorful and put together without trying too hard, as my focus has always been on my artistic ability and intellect rather than looks.
In a way I think makeup has a way of making women less human, the idea that men can do little with their looks and be normal, but women are lacking from the start, it kind of alienates the sexes.
I was a little sad with this post as I’ve grown to look forward to relationship stories from the male perspective, but I think you made an interesting point, and one women certainly need to hear!
As a man, I agree totally with this post. Good stuff!
I love women who look like women! The “hollywood model look” (read gaunt), is not attractive. If you are at ease with yourself it is easier for us guys to approach you in a club or wherever and actually talk to you, rather than be “that guy” who is staring at you too afraid to come over.
I also believe most women dress-to-impress other women only, men are an after thought!
And this picture pretty much sums up a lot.
http://www.ratemymotivational.com/motivationals/13398-CURVES-If_i_wanted_a_woman_who_has_the_body_of_a_ten_year_old_boy_Id_just_date_a_ten.jpg
Hmmm, when my pimples get bad(yes I’m 23 and they still get really bad. The first time I see a new doctor, the first thing they prescribe for is the pimples XD, that’s how bad they are) I always want to put on some fundation before I see my boyfriend. He’s always telling me not to and I always thought he was just being kind to try and boost my self esteem. Never thought he could actually be serious that he liked me better without it, now I know he probably really does. This is awesome to know. Thank you sir, for making me feel like I really can be natural and attractive all at once XD.
Like everyone else, I was gratified to read this. I’ve always known on some level that men liked it just fine when I was “a mess” but it was have a logical explanation.
I recently had a discussion about this very topic. I met my boyfriend at a Wedding. When we started talking after the wedding, I said, “I hope you know, I don’t always look like this. I hardly wear dresses, I’ve only worn these heels one other time, I never wear this much make up and my hair is curly – not straight.” I was really worried that I had “set the bar too high,” so-to-speak. Then, I decided I’d work on my blank canvas. Before we had our first official date, I hit the gym, gave myself a facial, wore really neutral/minimal make up, let my hair go natural, put on my best outfit (jeans and a tank) slipped on some flip flops and met up with him. I was honestly surprised that he still liked what he saw, but boy was I glad. Hopefully he’s forgotten what I looked like that first time I met him.
-csteen85
I love the way you handled that. Good for you (and of course he liked what he saw).
umm yeah i guess so
i love love love this post … will experiment to see if it is true or not thank u