Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Accidents Will Happen

I think enough time has passed for it to be safe for me to tell this story.  I think.  I hope.

And if not, well, the damage has kinda already been done.

So a while ago I was working on my real identity* stuff.  Rebuilding it.

You see, back when people started to actually read this , I realized that it was too damn easy for people who knew me to find it (if they really, really wanted to).  And, in fact, a couple of the men I dated found it (and that didn’t work out so well).  I decided it was in my best interest to make it damn near impossible for that to happen again. So I deleted every social media account I had, for my real identity.  Bye bye Linked In, adios professional blog, goodbye everything.  EVERYTHING.

But now things have changed.  I’d still like to keep a line between my blog and my life, but it’s important to my business that I rebuild some of that stuff. So I started to work on it a while back. To rebuild.

Now, I’m usually an awesome multi-tasker.  But I’ll admit that sometimes I let myself take on too much and get overwhelmed/overloaded.  One day, a while ago, I was doing a few things at the same time.  My computer had a half dozen windows open, my tweetdeck was popping up every 4 seconds with some new urgent thing I needed to look at and I was listening to a conference call.  One of the less important things I was doing was rebuilding my Linked In account.

There were a few people in my gmail account (my personal email) who I wanted to add.  So I let Linked In have access (because I’m a lazy cow and couldn’t copy and paste the individual addresses).  Well, instead of sending to those few people, somehow in my highly distracted state I sent invites to everyone in my gmail address book.


I never actually log in to gmail. My gmail is sent to my mail client with all of my other email accounts. It’d been a long time since I’d cleaned out my address book. And gmail has that pesky habit of adding everyone you email to your contacts. So every guy I’ve dated for the last few years (including M, I’d blocked him from contacting me but forgot to purge him from my contacts) received a Linked In invitations from me. Not to mention all of my family members and random friends of friends.

Oh yeah, it was funny. M replied immediately. I deleted/blocked him. One guy sent me a nasty note. Several men added me to their networks, but I removed them from mine (I couldn’t even remember who some of them were/when we dated). And a few sent pleasant notes, none of which I replied to.

I guess I could’ve seen this as an opportunity to reconnect with some of the guys from my past. The ones who replied.  Maybe give them second looks. Or maybe try to work them as business contacts.  But, no. I spent the rest of that afternoon/next day re-closing doors.  Sometimes accidents are just accidents -> not opportunities.

And now for a little music, because I’m old and love this song.

*It’s an open secret that Simone Grant is a pen name.  If you didn’t know, now you know.


7 to “Accidents Will Happen”

  1. And Rufus is MY pen name :-) Real life now demands it.

  2. Sandyvs says:

    I know exactly what you’re talking about here. That is one of the reasons why I don’t friend any of the guys I’ve dated or are dating on facebook, or messenger, or post any comments on blogs through facebook. I’m really trying to keep those parts of my life separate. But somehow, it’s all getting blended in together, and I’m not liking this much. And it’s just one little slip when you’re just not thinking that can really mess things up.

  3. Deedee says:

    That is hilarious! Sounds like something that might befall me, as I tend to multitask also.

  4. I have everything with my blog and my real life completely separate. It’s safer that way. Stuff on the internet can stick around forever and you have no control over it. Better to be safe than sorry!

  5. Terry says:

    Dear Lois Lane,

    I promise not to tell your secret if you don’t tell mine.



  6. Dazediva says:

    See I never knew that SG was a pen name .. now I’m all baffled ! LOL it makes sense though to keep your real life and cyber life separate to each other .. although sometimes you may need to combine the two ..

    I’m at a point where I’m quite happy with my cyber identity of Dazediva – and very few of my online friends know ‘who I am’ .. which is cool by me .. however being in the world of events & social media marketing .. I need to kinda break that barrier and join the two identities together … oh well .. once I figure it out – will let you know ..

    Either way – I love who Simone Grant is .. the cyber version and the real version .. cos really – you can’t totally hide who you are – and who you are comes out in your writing no matter what name you use :) xxx

  7. Jane Wonder says:

    This is one of those horrifying stories that causes me to be overly careful with invitations and identity stuff. Clearly Jane Wonder is not my real name. I mean, yeah… we all knew that. But I have gone to extensive lengths to keep Jane and my real name completely and utterly separated. To date, the only people able to connect them that I know of are those who I intentionally showed the connection to. (Except one… LC found out entirely by accident and boy did that suck. But that was a long time ago. Bygones and all of that jazz.)