Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

When In Doubt, Do Nothing

When In Doubt, Do Nothing dating update  545703 shadow of loveI really don’t have that much to say about last night’s with Mr. Midwest.

It was our 6th date (I think, maybe it was the 7th?). After some last minute changes (scheduling issues, overcrowded restaurants) we ended up at a great local bar that we’ve been to before.

Tonight was probably the most we’ve ever really talked. Well, tonight was probably the first time I really talked – about myself. It’s not something I do. Let new people in. I have my stock stories, the things I feel safe talking about.  But I tend to leave out whole chunks of me until I get to know someone well.

I figured maybe it would be helpful if I opened up a little bit. And learned more about him…

So what did I learn? Well, for starters, we really are creatures from 2 entirely different planets. It’s not just a NYC – Midwest thing. There are so many differences that I wouldn’t even know where to start to list them.

The thing is, I’m not sure that matters. Because I’m still figuring out the important stuff (what matters most in life to him/what are his values – because I’ve learned that those are the true dealbreakers).  You see, as different as he and I are, we’re alike in that we both keep people at a distance.  And maybe that’s why I’m just not feeling it?  Because I can’t figure him out.

Anyway, I’ve decided to take a friend’s advice:  When in doubt – do nothing.  In this case I interpret it to mean, don’t do anything to screw up this potential relationship.  Just keep seeing him and eventually I’ll know.  One way or the other.


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2 to “When In Doubt, Do Nothing”


  1. mel says:

    It’s a tough situation. I have similar feelings for the guy I started dating recently. I’ve tried to get more out of him – somewhat successfully, somewhat not. Not sure I’ve figured out my dealbreaker with him yet. Good luck. Let me know if the do nothing approach works. I should try it one day.

  2. Dazediva says:

    I can imagine its hard not knowing where you stand but since you’ve acknowledged that both of you keep people at a distance .. and yet you are both continuing to see other each 6/7 times .. meet him some more, maybe you’ll like what you discover .. and if you don’t at least you’ve enjoyed the company until that discovery