I was at a party this weekend and amongst the guests were some fairly prolific daters, even a guy or two who might put me to shame. Someone, one of the guys, brought up the topic of online dating. He hadn’t done much of it and was a skeptic. He said something about hearing there was no one worth meeting online.
Now, you know that I can’t bear to hear online dating bad-mouthed. I jumped in and told him that over the years I’ve met a bunch of really great guys online, one of whom is still a dear friend. And that they were, for the most part: attractive, successful, intelligent guys. Sometimes a guy can be awesome AND not the right guy for me.
Just as I was finishing up, another of the guests jumped in with his own thoughts. He agreed that there were great people online, and he proceeded to pull out pics of some very hot women he met (and had substantial relationships with) online.
I then chimed in with the fact that I know a couple of fabulous couples who’ve met online – successful people with great jobs…blah blah blah.
Guy #1 replied with something that resembled a question. So why do other people claim that there are no decent men/women online?
Damned if I know. All I could guess was one of 2 things:
- a) They suck at online dating/haven’t really given it a try (because there are certain skills involved)
- b) They suck at dating. Let’s face it (and yes, now I’m going to be a little bitchy), some people are just not that pleasant, attractive (which isn’t always about physical attributes, it’s frequently about attitude) or skilled in interpersonal communications. Someone who has a hard time attracting and interacting with people IRL will probably have those same problems online.
Anyway, I hope he gives it a shot. I think he’ll have fun.
I was talking to my dad the other day. He just got back from a vacation with friends, friends that he and my mom used to travel with sometimes (my dad is a widower, it’s been a little less than a year and half since my mom passed away). They were on a cruise and while he was away he got to talking with a couple of women. He made it very clear that these women were married, re-married. Former widows. And he chatted with them about the fact that he’s been thinking about what to do with the rest of his life.
One of them suggested online dating and he asked me what I thought of that. I told him I thought that was a good idea, besides the fact that he doesn’t have the patience to use Amazon.com. And that I’d help him set everything up and walk him through it all (there might even come a day when I’m helping my dad send messages, lord help me).
Now I should say that my dad is not young. My parents got married and had me late, for their generation. But he looks young for his age and still works full-time. He’s mentioned to me a few times that he’s looked around at the women his age and thought about maybe finding someone to spend time with, but that they all look old. Anyway, as we’re talking about the online dating thing he said that if he was going to meet someone it had to be someone who still looked good, like…. And then he mentioned a member of our extended family who’s had extensive work done. She’s in her early 70s (I think) but looks (if you look quickly) like she’s in her 50s and dresses like she’s in her 30s.
I wanted to laugh but didn’t. Typical. It’s not enough that he has someone as youthful as he is (I figured he’d date/find someone 10 years younger). But he wants someone who’s trying to pretend that time has stopped. It’s especially funny as that was so not my mom. She wore make-up 3 times a year, at most. And even before she got sick she took lousy care of herself (there is photographic evidence that she was a cutie in her 20s, however).
Anyway, I told my dad it all sounded good and to count me in with whatever help he needed. That should be fun.
Tags: communication, Online dating, online dating profiles, suck, younger women