Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Maybe Not So Empty?

Maybe Not So Empty? sex dating update  iStock 000001179559XSmallI had my 4th with Mr. Midwest last night.  It was nice. Good.  Easy. Fun.

Sorry, not feeling particularly articulate on the subject.  The truth is, I have absolutely no idea what to say.  We have fun together.  We enjoy each other’s company (well, I enjoy his company and he seems to enjoy my company).

We get along well.

Last night, we even had a little disagreement (not about anything important) and afterwards he said, “we can agree to disagree” and I thought, Damn, I really am dating a grown up.  What a nice change. It was…nice.

So maybe this can turn into a not so empty relationship, after all?  Or not.  I don’t really know.

Here’s what I know:  Last night, after dinner, I invited him up to my place, “for a little while”. At which point he said something, jokingly, about my not wanting him around all night long. And I said that that was right, that I’d be throwing him out/he couldn’t spend the night because he wakes up at an ungodly hour (which is true, he’s at work at 7am each morning). And yes we had , and yes it was good and he started to fall asleep and I woke him up and told him he had to go.  At which point he tried to tempt me into letting him stay with promises of morning . I told him that sounded great, but I needed to sleep later than 6 am this morning so he had to leave.  Anyway, the point here is that if he didn’t have to wake up so early I think I would have wanted him to stay (and not just because of the morning ).

Normally, I don’t like to spend the night with someone unless I think there’s a chance of a real relationship forming.

So maybe those butterflies aren’t so important?  I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.


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16 to “Maybe Not So Empty?”


  1. I don’t think all relationships start with butterflies..some build gradually. I personally have never been with someone who I didn’t have butterflies for..but I know people who have. I have friends who actually prefer guys that don’t give them butterflies..but have a slow build instead. Either way good luck.. and most of all ENJOY!

    • Simone Grant says:

      Honestly, I’ve never believed in the slow build. But I’d like to. And I can see the attraction of it. Those butterflies have some unpleasant side effects.

  2. Sandyvs says:

    It sounds as though this won’t be an empty relationship no matter what happens. Two of my best relationships so far have started out with no butterflies. In fact, one of them started out with no attraction, other than we got along great personality wise.
    As for the picture, I feel that whether the glass is half full or half empty depends on whether you’re drinking or pouring…….

    P.S. STILL anxiously waiting for Guys story, part II………

  3. Lifebeginsat30ty says:

    Sometimes, people can surprise us. If we let them :)

  4. ATLGirl73 says:

    I’d have to say that just about relationship I’ve had that started with butterflies ended terribly. I don’t think it’s the butterflies, per se, that caused the issues, but the fact that I focused on said butterflies instead of potential red flags/trouble. I agree with the above poster, though, that not all relationships start the same way. The most important part is the end result. Good luck!

  5. Kira says:

    Maybe you read to much into your dates due to the blog. This guy sounds pretty interesting so far.
    Good Luck. :)

    • Simone Grant says:

      I read too much into everything because I think too much, in general. This blog is just a by-product of my general thought process.

      And thanks:-)

  6. I don’t know, I think by the fourth date you should be getting those butterflies. Because by then something should be starting to build up, if its going to. I agree butterflies in the very beginning can be misleading, but aren’t they just really brilliant? If your not getting them by the fifth date, then maybe you and this guy are going to be friends but nothing else. Depends on what you are looking for. Don’t be too quick to dismiss those butterflies, they happen for a magical reason.

    • Simone Grant says:

      I guess I won’t know til I know, which sounds vague but I don’t mean it to. All I mean is that I guess I’ll know when to end things, when I’ve given it enough time.

  7. Kelly says:

    I agree—keep dating him and see what happens. You enjoy his company, no? Isn’t that important? It’s better to be open to what may develop than to cut it off because it’s not what you think should happen. I feel like the universe trips us up in this way.

    • Simone Grant says:

      That’s an excellent way of putting it – I don’t want to end things because it’s not what “should happen”. For now, I’ve had a few dates with a good guy. One I enjoy spending time with, who calls me every couple of days and treats me very well.

  8. tina says:

    It sounds like you’re both lukewarm about each other.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Well, I’m not sure how I feel about him and I have no idea how he feels about me. So if that translates into “lukewarm” in your view than OK.