I’ve been a little too overwhelmed with my life lately to keep up with my online dating stuff. I know that someday soon I’m going to have to schedule a few hours to sit down and clear out the inboxes (Chemistry, especially, will take a lot of time). I’m not complaining. It’s part of the process.
I have been keeping up with my 2 dates a week schedule and a couple of days ago I took a couple of hours out of very busy afternoon to meet a guy who I thought seemed very promising.
Boy was I wrong.
I am not, as most people who know me IRL can attest to, untalkative (hmm, that’s not a word). I’m easy to engage in conversation. If someone is talking about something I find even vaguely interesting, I’ll dive in. I didn’t speak much during this date. I couldn’t. First off, this guy was boring the shit out of me.
Recently, my good twitter friend Terry Simpson said something about how talking about one’s self was the least interesting thing to talk about on a date. I’m not so sure about that. I think the least interesting thing to talk about on a date is online dating. Followed by a full-scale baggage share. Seriously, he spent huge chunks of time talking about how his online dating profile was so amazing and he was so great at online dating (which I found hysterical for SO MANY reasons, the biggest one being that he was an old picture guy with bad people skills and it doesn’t matter what you put online if no one is going to want a second date with you). Then when he got tired of that topic (I barely said a word, no I’m not joking, we were taking a walk on a sunny day and so I tried to tune him out) he started to whine about his recent divorce and job loss.
Eventually, I got tired of listening to him blather on about things and tried to jump in. I can’t remember what I could have possibly said. All I can remember is that every time I said anything he cut me off and said, “that reminds me of..” and then mentioned a book by either a philosopher or obscure artist. And then he went on to lecture for about 5 minutes as to the significance of that philosopher or artist and why they are so under-appreciated.
Why I stuck around so long, I have no idea? Your guess is as good as mine. It was a nice day and I was happy to be outside. But I really can’t think of any worse formula for a date: be an old picture guy (I’m guessing the pics were at least 3 years old, maybe older) + talk endlessly about yourself + shut down all attempts the other person makes to join the conversation with pompous rubbish.
Now, to be kind, the guy is clearly insecure. I get that. Old pictures are not a sign of someone who feels good about themselves. And I don’t think he’s even vaguely aware of how he’s acting. There was a ‘thank you’ email waiting for me when I got home that night (I had plans immediately following the date). That doesn’t change the fact that it was one of the worst dates I’ve been on in the last few years. Years.
Tags: bad date, Baggage, chemistry.com, friends, guy, second date