Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Are You Satisfied?

I was thinking some more about Mr. Newlywed’s Story.  Mr. Newlywed says he’s happy.  In his words, “I love my wife. We will be together forever, have a house and kids and be very happy.”  He does not say he’s miserable or even unhappy, although he makes it clear that sexually he’s not at all satisfied.

I know other people who would say the same of their marriage and/or .  They are happy in every way but sexually. When people tell me this stuff, I figure it’s something they want to get off their chests.  Not something they want probed or analyzed or judged (otherwise they wouldn’t be telling me).

Anyway, there are lots of people out there in LTRs and marriages who love their partners but who aren’t satisfied with their lives.  AND, there are also plenty of people who aren’t satisfied with their sex lives (like just about every woman I know). Just in case you’re curious, it’s been exactly 5 weeks since I’ve had sex. Way too long.

I’m not separating people into groups this time. Not for this question.  Not today.  This is a just a straight-forward .

Are you satisfied with your sex life?

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15 to “Are You Satisfied?”


  1. Ms. Bitch says:

    Sure lots of people are unsatisfied with parts of their sex lives. But that guy seemed like he wasn’t happy with any part of it. That shit’s gonna blow up at some point. I don’t know when, but it will. It’s naive to think otherwise.

    • Simone Grant says:

      When someone says he loves his wife… I take that at face value. I know that sometimes I write things that seem “unhappy” but it’s just that I’m pondering something unpleasant. Not that I’m unhappy overall. I guess we’ll have to wait to see the next chapter to know for sure.

  2. Mal Kovich says:

    Not enough sex means not satisfied.

  3. Ms. Anonymous says:

    There are so many out there not satisfied with their sex lives in a marriage and LTR. I know this through my own experience and by having candid conversations with others. And yes, they do find it elsewhere and yes, some have unique ways of exploring their sexual desires that they can’t find at home. It goes against all traditions but it truly is more common than people want to admit. Is it wrong? I think it depends on who you ask.

  4. 5 weeks…I’m going on 2.5 months (ugh!) though if you don’t included that one weekend of closure sex lol with the ex…it would be 6 months (ugh!) Can’t seem to get myself over the hump (pun intended) aka the first time since the ex….crossies this situaiton changes soon :)

    • Simone Grant says:

      This is far too long for me. I’ve been trying to coordinate a little ‘playdate’ for a while but we keep having schedule issues. Dammit.

  5. I think we should give the sex aspect of a relationship a break, there are a number of a aspects of a relationship that contribute to it being successful and sex is only one of them. It’s like your job, sometimes you stay for the money even though the work is a bit dull.

    But I do think that you should accurately weight those factors, and for Mr Newlywed sex IS important. Seems he should have worked out those details before sealing the deal.

    • Simone Grant says:

      I’d guess that for all of us, these things ebb and flow. And yes, there are lots of things that contribute to the success of a relationship. Great sex alone does not a functional relationship make. BELIEVE ME.

  6. I am very satisfied. When you are hppy with you and your reltionship it helps everything else so much more enjoyable.

  7. Simone Grant says:

    I can believe that. And congrats.

  8. Terry says:

    Sex has been a great barometer of relationships for me. My parents still chase each other around– they are in their 80′s. I hope to be chasing my bride when I am that age.
    My goal– to embarrass my kid by chasing his mom

  9. Constance says:

    I had to come out of hiding to tell Terry that I love his comment!

    Sex in a relationship is extremely important to me. I doubt I could remain in the LTR if the sex was bad or nonexistent.

  10. smartipants says:

    My sex life is awesome (LTR – 2 years). It’s frequent enough; he knows exactly how to get the max response out of me. It’s the rest of the so-called relationship that sucks. If we could straighten out the problems outside the bedroom, it’d be perfect. I don’t see that happening… so, unfortunately, I’ll have to move on eventually. But I’ll always remember this as the best relationship ever in the sex category.