Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Love at First Sight

One of the new features of my site is the little teaser (over in the right corner, in the pretty rose box).  I’m going to be switching them out every week or so.

The first question I posed was, “Do you believe in at first sight?  Because of some, um, technical difficulties it was up for almost 2 weeks, instead of just one.

It’s a pretty straightforward question. For the first 10 days, the answers were split right down the middle. And then, all of a sudden, Yes pulled forward as the winner with 45% of the vote.

Honestly, I’m surprised.  I always thought my readers were a bit more cynical than that.  Love at first sight, seriously?

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11 to “Love at First Sight”

  1. Erin says:

    Heck, no! Even if the sample weren’t limited to your readership, I’d be surprised to find that many believers. I’m a total romantic and optimist, and even I don’t believe in love at first sight.

  2. Dazediva says:

    Hmmm lemme think about that one … no I don’t think it happens .. its usually LUST at first sight .. it might grow to love but it can’t be love on sight .. or can it ? I haven’t had that … I’ve lusted and loved … :)

  3. Terry says:

    Happened to me – and yes, I am the most cynical person you could imagine. I had known April on Twitter. We had exchanged a few quips back and forth – nothing more. I never thought of her as anyone other than someone I would like to meet, maybe have a date with if I did, and that was it. I was invited to Tampa for a dinner party by some other friends. I had to be in Anchorage for some meetings, and thought, well- I’m not doing anything this weekend so I changed my travel plans and flew from Anchorage to Tampa. The person who was suppose to pick me up at the airport couldn’t and April was the one to pick me up — as soon as I sat in the car I looked in her eyes– I was done.

    Now, I didn’t believe it. We had a great weekend – talked til 5 am both nights I was there. I called her and talked with her daily. Three weeks later I went back — yup it was still there – that same look, that same feeling. I still didn’t buy it.

    Three weeks later I invited her to meet me in Seattle. We spent the weekend there– at the airport she said, “well, if you want to date other people, I am cool with that.” I said – “Tell you what, I would prefer if we were exclusive, and if instead of seeing each other every third or fourth weekend we would see each other every other weekend. And yes, I do love you.”

    Two weekends later we met again — after that, for the next eight months it was every weekend. We got married on Feb 19th – and still lived in two cities. Last weekend was the first weekend neither one of us traveled.

    So yes– I do believe there was something there– call it love at first site– call it strong interest, call it what you like. But something inside of me said something strong about her. I wasn’t looking – thought my life was not going to be about any one relationship– felt like I had my shot and I was done. I thought the only good marriage I could talk about was my parents, and was happy to write about it as something strange and wonderful and rare.

    Now- we are married, we are happy– and at 52 I am going to be a dad. Just about everything I thought couldn’t or would not happen did. Including “love at first site.”

    So, Simone- yes, I believe. Oh- I also wasn’t going to do another long distance relationship. It was tough flying every weekend, or her flying– but you know what– it was worth it!

  4. Syona says:

    There is lust at first sight and infatuation, but never love at first sight.
    I found this explanation which I think says it all:

    “Infatuation is liking everything about a person, and seeing them as perfect. you do not see their flaws, just overlook them and act like they are perfect.

    Not to be confused as love in which you see their flaws, and just accept them.

    Also not to be confused with lust which is purley physical attraction.”

  5. Caitlin says:

    I think people just like to say it was love at first sight when they fall for someone quickly and it surprisingly ends up working out! I personally think it’s nonsense. You can’t be in love with someone until you share experiences with them, discover their personality and how you click, etc.

    • Simone Grant says:

      That sounds about right to me. Although I think there is a big difference between being ‘in love” -which you describe so well, and the act of loving. Not sure I can define that difference, though.

      The wine I had on my date doesn’t help.

  6. Terry says:


    There is love at first sight. But you gotta take a second look.

  7. Lara says:

    There CAN be a moment – an indescribable moment – when upon meeting someone, something shifts inside. Opens up to a possibility that wasn’t there before. It’s a recognition that is deeper than lust, more instinctive than appreciation. Reality and logic don’t always factor in either! I had such a moment, and at the time I was married w/a 2 year old at home – hardly an acceptable time to tumble into love, but what could I do? I never acted on it until I was divorced and in fact, that moment actually had little to do w/my divorce. Ultimately, even acting on it years later didn’t make it work, but it happened. And it was real in a way that hasn’t happened since. It sets the bar kind of ridiculously high…

  8. Asking someone if they fell in love at first sight is like saying that I KNEW it was going to be “heads” when you flipped the coin. Sure there are going to be lots of people who met someone they liked, thought to themselves, “I’m going to marry/love this person one day” and then they did. But there are going to be just as many people who said that and then didn’t. Just because they guessed right doesn’t make it true. Everybody guesses right at least some of the time. But do you think anyone ever said on a first date…ya know…when this guy’s parents are old and his dad gets alzheimer’s, and he loses his job, and gets depressed and develops a drug habit…hey…I’m going to look after the dad (bathing, changing, basically babysitting) while my husband’s in counselling/rehab all the while holding down 2 jobs to pay the bills…because I love him, right now. I don’t think so.

  9. It was definitely love at first sight for me. I was very surprised and it was the last thing on my mind at that time – to meet a man, and the one who I would want to marry no less! I could not get him out of my mind and we have been together now for many years. So there has to be something in the ‘instant attraction’ thing. No idea, what! I’ll leave that to the scientists. But as long as it works!