Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

O No, Say it Ain’t So?

I’ve written about this before, I don’t it.  Ever.

Every time a woman fakes it she’s letting the man in her life believe that she’s satisfied. When she’s not. Which is most likely going to lead the man in question to continue to not satisfy her (rather than step up/ his, um, game).

This is something I feel strongly about (otherwise, how will these men learn?) which is why I was horrified to read these stats in The Frisky:

  • 20 percent of women are “extremely” unhappy in , but rather than communicate with our partners about our dissatisfaction, a whopping 48 percent of us fake orgasms
  • 1 in 10 women fake the big ‘O’ every single time they have sex


So what I want to know is, is this true for you, my readers?  And guys, don’t worry, I’m not leaving you out of this week’s .  I have a question for you, too.

Women Only Poll:

Do you occasionally or frequently fake orgasms?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Men Only Poll:

Do you think the woman (women) in your life occasionally/frequently fake orgasms?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Tags: , , , , ,

7 to “O No, Say it Ain’t So?”

  1. Jeremy says:

    What about a category for guys that have faked. On a few occasions, when it has been enough, I have done so.

  2. Alex says:

    I know she has faked but once we started communicating she stopped faking

  3. *Begins to type response…thinks…K.Michelle – Fakin’ It playing loudly in the background* 😛 So I can’t lie…I’m a faker…rarely in a relationship…often when its casual sex…which I may or may not have had more than my fair share of…uh…anyways. For me, there are varying degrees and categories of “the fake”

    Casual Sex Fake: Whether a one night stand or a casual escapade I occasionally dilly dally with…I’m likely having sex with him for the power it gives me/the ego boost/perhaps the making out/basically its me me me though really its him him him since he’s getting off and I’m likely not (this is often age restrictive aka before I knew better)

    First time don’t spoil the mood fake: Now don’t get me wrong I’m woman hear me roar and all that, I know I deserve to get good loving and I know that he very well can’t give me what I don’t ask for…but I’m a realist and I know that my Everest is like a broadway show…it all has to be working at once (mood, tone, setting, props, stage hands have to know their places, actors have to know their cues) to be a success, so for the first time that’s all butterflies and newness etc. I fake it. (though ask me again hopefully soon since I’ve just started dating after the demise of my 6 year relationship and I know a lot more now at 28 than I did at 22 so first times might be different this time around.

    The “it’s just not going to happen tonight” fake: truth be told very rare and used only in emergency situations (such as when drinking, when exhausted, after having watched a particularly disturbing law and order SVU episode).

    Even after saying all that…it’s not like I’m Elizabeth Berkley in the pool scene in Showgirls…basically I just amp things up a bit…and if he’s worth it…he’ll evenutally be given the detailed treasure map, the pep talk, and the definition of reciprocity for job well done :)

  4. Dazediva says:

    There are two types of orgasms a woman can have .. internal and external … according to stats (and I forget the % here) the majority of women have yet to experience the BIG EXTERNAL O where they get to release like men … although all of us have had the internal O’s .. and yet from that most women don’t know for sure if they’ve had the orgasm or not

    I can’t fake it .. even in the worst case – I rather just tell the man I’m enjoying myself than fake the orgasm; and tell him not to worry about it. Cos if its going to happen – it will – and for that I generally have to have a very good connection with the man – physically, intimately, emotionally, mentally.

    There’s no point faking it to a man – he’s going to think he’s satisfying you when he’s really not and its only cause more tension in the bedroom ! So my conclusion – men and women need to discuss their likes and dislikes in bed to ensure that both partners are satisfied.

  5. “Which is most likely going to lead the man in question to continue to not satisfy her”
    I totally agree! I faked it once with my ex-husband as a joke. I enjoy sex too much to not communicate what I like and don’t like. Many of my more sexually-frustrated female friends are also far more embarassed to talk about sex. You can imagine that if they have issues talking about it with their girlfriends, they damn sure can’t talk about it to the guys they’re boinging… and the faking then ensues.
    Sex+ Shame + Wanting to Please Your Partner= Faking It.
    Even worse, sometimes, females have such sex shame that they don’t really even know what they like themselves. Ouch.

  6. In my first relationship I had a few fake sessions. He wanted sex and I wasn’t aroused but he got his and I was happy. At least he cared. Fast forward 4 years later and I REFUSE to fake it. If my partner asks me how he’s doing, I’ll tell him what he needs to do to get it right. And if he doesn’t, he gets silence. Do you know what it feels like to have sex in silence. Men notice and hate it. Its not my fault, get it together. Ladies please stop the fake oohs and aahs. At least then men won’t feel so hurt when I tell them I’m not feeling the “work” they’re putting in.