A while ago YourTango (a mag I like, this is not me beating up on YourTango or on anyone) posted a piece on where to meet good men. It was a perfectly nice article, and mentioned the same 5 places you see mentioned in just about every, where to meet good men piece:
- In a class
- A potluck-at your place
- Hardware store
- Coffee shop
I am begging my female readers to please NOT follow the advice. Or, at least, not some of it.
As some of you already know, my old career was in the not-for-profit world where I had the pleasure of working with many volunteers (and where I’ve done a lot of volunteering myself). Some of the organizations I worked with were quite dependent on their volunteers. Without the generosity and hard work of volunteers, the mission/work of those organizations couldn’t be realized.
Which is why it really sucks when organizations spend countless staff hours training new volunteers who are only there in the hopes of meeting a man, only to see them quit a few months/weeks/days into their commitment when they realize that the vast majority of volunteers are either female (many of them also there because they heard that volunteering is a great way to meet a man) or senior citizens. Really sucks. It’s a massive waste of resources. So please, don’t ever volunteer in the hopes of meeting a guy. If there is a cause you believe in and you have free time then YES you should absolutely volunteer. You’ll probably love it, it’s amazingly rewarding and it will make you feel better than any shopping spree ever could. But don’t expect to get a boyfriend out of the deal.
Also irksome to me is the “in a class” advice. I read a very similar list when I was in my early 20s, way back in the dark ages. I’d just moved to Manhattan and was spending way to much time in bars, etc. So I decided to take some classes, in the hopes of meeting a “nice, smart guy”. Several thousand dollars later I came to realize that, YEP, 95% of the people taking night classes were women who read it was a great way to meet men. I’m sure that’s not always the case. I’m sure there are some guys in some night classes. I just picked the wrong ones. My guess is that there are lots of wrong ones.
This isn’t advice, this is me having a very strong opinion. Volunteering and taking classes are things you should be doing for you. Because you have a genuine interest, desire, whatever. They take your time (or money). Making that kind of investment in the hopes of meeting a guy is not smart, in my opinion.
Ahhh, that felt good.
Tags: coffee, work, YourTango