So last nights’ date was weird. Good weird, but weird. I think the only way to tell the story is to jump into the middle. Please try to stay with me.
So me and Mr. Perfect on Paper were laughing and drinking and talking at one of my favorite local wine bars. It’s a place I go often, sometimes with dates, and for whatever stupid reason I mentioned that to him. Somehow we got to talking about a group of people that we both knew. Common acquaintances. And it turned out that I knew these people because I used to date one of the crowd. And he knew them because his ex was part of the crowd.
So we’d both been to some parties with some of the same people and we were talking about that and them. And… well it turns out that his ex used to date my ex, before I did (and he did, I guess). I guess I should say quickly that the guy in question, the ex, is quite a character. The type of person people remember for a long, long time.
We were both kinda freaked out by this. Not in a, I have to leave right now way but still, seriously freaked out. Once the info was out there, we couldn’t unknow it. And knowing it, well, we suddenly sorta knew intimate things about each other(or could presume them). It led me to say, “it’s like we’ve already had sex”. Yes, I actually said that. Out loud.
We’re talking about a relationship that was years ago. Me and the ex in question haven’t spoken in ages but left things friendly. So this wasn’t a heavy topic. At least, not for me. I got the sense Mr. Perfect on Paper felt similarly.
Perhaps if I lived in some small town/city somewhere this would happen all the time – dating guys who had connections to my exes? But here, in NYC, this is actually the first time something like this has happened. And I didn’t like it one bit.
Anyway, we eventually moved on from this topic. We did, actually, have lots of stuff to talk about so there was no need to stick with the uncomfortable topic all night.
So why did I then decide to tell him about my blog, you might wonder? Good question. I guess I was feeling like there was already so much baggage out there that I might as well just go for it.
It was 2 minutes later, after we were talking about the blog and how it did and didn’t affect my real life that it occurred to me that I’d have to tell him about M (and the fact that in between our first and second dates I spent 5 days playing, let’s pretend we might get back together with my ex). And he was surprisingly cool about it. Or drunk.
So fast forward an hour. More drinks. A demolished cheese plate. More laughing. We’re having fun. But he keeps giving me this odd look. So I asked, “which are you more freaked out by, the blog or NAME OF EX”? To which he responded, the ex. Which was actually good. I think?
The night ended with a kiss outside the restaurant. Not a quick, chaste kiss, but a long series of good kisses. And then, as we were separating to go off in our opposite directions, he said, “you know the people in there [he pointed towards the restaurant's front window] are saying, ‘look at her kissing another guy outside the restaurant’.
I laughed for several blocks.
Tags: Baggage, exes, guy, kiss, wine bar