Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Look at Her Kissing Another Guy In Front of the Restaurant

So last nights’ date was weird. Good weird, but weird.  I think the only way to tell the story is to jump into the middle. Please try to stay with me.

So me and Mr. Perfect on Paper were laughing and drinking and talking at one of my favorite local wine bars. It’s a place I go often, sometimes with dates, and for whatever stupid reason I mentioned that to him. Somehow we got to talking about a group of people that we both knew. Common acquaintances. And it turned out that I knew these people because I used to date one of the crowd.  And he knew them because his ex was part of the crowd.


So we’d both been to some parties with some of the same people and we were talking about that and them.  And… well it turns out that his ex used to date my ex, before I did (and he did, I guess). I guess I should say quickly that the in question, the ex, is quite a character. The type of person people remember for a long, long time.

We were both kinda freaked out by this.  Not in a, I have to leave right now way but still, seriously freaked out. Once the info was out there, we couldn’t unknow it.  And knowing it, well, we suddenly sorta knew intimate things about each other(or could presume them).  It led me to say, “it’s like we’ve already had sex”.  Yes, I actually said that.  Out loud.

We’re talking about a relationship that was years ago.  Me and the ex in question haven’t spoken in ages but left things friendly. So this wasn’t a heavy topic. At least, not for me.  I got the sense Mr. Perfect on Paper felt similarly.

Perhaps if I lived in some small town/city somewhere this would happen all the time – dating guys who had connections to my ?  But here, in NYC, this is actually the first time something like this has happened. And I didn’t like it one bit.

Anyway, we eventually moved on from this topic.  We did, actually, have lots of stuff to talk about so there was no need to stick with the uncomfortable topic all night.

So why did I then decide to tell him about my blog, you might wonder? Good question. I guess I was feeling like there was already so much out there that I might as well just go for it.

It was 2 minutes later, after we were talking about the blog and how it did and didn’t affect my real life that it occurred to me that I’d have to tell him about M (and the fact that in between our first and second dates I spent 5 days playing, let’s pretend we might get back together with my ex). And he was surprisingly cool about it. Or drunk.

So fast forward an hour. More drinks. A demolished cheese plate.  More laughing.  We’re having fun. But he keeps giving me this odd look.  So I asked, “which are you more freaked out by, the blog or NAME OF EX”?  To which he responded, the ex. Which was actually good. I think?

The night ended with a outside the restaurant.  Not a quick, chaste , but a long series of good kisses. And then, as we were separating to go off in our opposite directions, he said, “you know the people in there [he pointed towards the restaurant’s front window] are saying, ‘look at her kissing another guy outside the restaurant’.

I laughed for several blocks.

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7 to “Look at Her Kissing Another Guy In Front of the Restaurant”

  1. Lifebeginsat30ty says:

    Awe, that sounds like it was fun! Most positive date I’ve read of yours in a while :)

  2. Kelly says:

    Ha! L.A. can be a small world like that, too. It’s eerie. I hope you continue on with this guy…he seems pretty cool. AND you can get background info because you have friends in common. Just saying. :)

  3. Yaay!! It sounds like it was a fun date! Glad you had fun!

  4. Matt says:

    That stuff happens more often than you’d think in NYC.

  5. maria says:

    I adore this story with every ounce of my being.

  6. It’s great that your night ended on a light, humorous note. It says a lot about him that he left you with that kind of smile (laughter). Given all the similarities you two share – it could have had a much different ending. He sounds like someone worth seeing again !

  7. I’m from Houston, another location in which you think it would be difficult to connect people as well. Be that as it may, my current boyfriend STILL knows my ex. I can honestly say that it is one of the MOST awkward experiences!

    But you handled it well, laughing and enjoying yourself is key. Without that, encountering an ex could definitely ruin a new date.

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