Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Online Dating… So Many Choices!

Recently I wrote about the only dating sites I’m currently using (match.com and chemistry) and why. But of course, that led to people sending me question about other sites.

So, let’s just get it all out there (and hopefully people will dive in with their experiences in the comments).

There are dozens of online dating sites out there.  Dozens.  Some of them have hundreds of members, and some of them have millions of members.  And some are free and some cost a lot of money.  I’m certainly not an expert on the industry, but I’ve probably tried more sites than most people.

So here are some more of my random thoughts.  My least favorite sites are and .  Plenty of Fish has millions of users (it’s free, so…) and so I’m sure there are plenty of decent folks there.  But the majority of guys who contacted me were just kinda trashy. They sent one line messages like, “i think ur hot.  call me ### “.

Adult Friend Finder was just a little too aggressive for my taste.  I thought it might be a good way to meet someone casual (I know someone who met their significant other there, FWIW). But the messages I got all seemed to come with pictures of penises. I’ve had pretty much similar experience with other sites geared towards casual .  My feeling is that it’s just as easy to meet someone interested in casual on a site like nerve, and there I don’t have to look at pics of ugly naked guys.

I know a lot of people like the “specialized” sites of Spark networks – JDate, BlackSingles, ChristianMingle, Catholic… and I tried out that network a few years ago and loathed it.  It just wasn’t my thing. Which doesn’t mean that there aren’t dozens of people everyday who meet there and fall in love.

There are some smaller, start-up sites that seem like they could have a shot of doing well. I’m hopeful for them because I think online dating is an industry that could use some shaking up. Some sites to check out: Dating Revolution and Date Dispatch. I’m also somewhat fascinated by Thread and Gelato.

Lastly (gosh, I feel like I’m giving a lecture here), I want to give a quick shout out to the new mobile dating sites. I love the idea behind Urban Signals (and similar sites – I hear grindr is hot with the gays) and have it on my iphone. I am a little neurotic about actually using it, though. Something about GPS technology freaks me out.

So in conclusion, dear friends, there really are lots of online dating choices out there, with new ones popping up all the time. And smart people are finding ways to integrate online dating into other platforms and technologies.  So the next time I hear someone say that, “I tried online dating, once, and it didn’t work for me,” I’m going to smack that person.


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6 to “Online Dating… So Many Choices!”


  1. jane says:

    Thank you for sharing your experiences, but don’t smack me….. run…….

  2. Kelli says:

    From my experience — I, too, hated Plenty of Fish — tried it for 2 weeks, had 1 horrific date and more skeezy pick up emails than I care to count — and I was done.
    Also tried EHarmony and while I think some people get great matches, for the most part, I didn’t. I think it may really depend on what part of the country you live in. Plus — most guy friends who try it easily get 4-5x more matches than the women I know. You do the math :)
    Match has been a good bet with what I call speed dating — if I don’t go too long between the initial contact and the meet — it’s more manageable than if there are multiple rounds and volleys of email, phone and text. I’ve met better guys on Match in San Francisco than I did in Austin. So, this one may be another part of the country thing. Selection is easier and better to access than a lot of the other sites.
    I’ve heard good things about yahoo — but I was underwhelmed. Chemistry was ok but not my favorite. Haven’t been impressed with the specialty sites — perhaps because I like balance and selection and those sites tend to attract the opposite.

    So — my 2 cents worth. Thanks for the post — I keep getting the same requests to write about the different sites but I think it’s such a personal preference thing, that I can’t really offer advice other than just my personal experience. :)

  3. sandyvs says:

    I was surprised at how many people, men as well as women had negative things to say about POF until I remembered that I keep my profile HIDDEN on there, so I get to do the fishing and not be bothered with men (or penis pictures) I have zero interest in. I have had some GREAT dates from POF, and one longer term relationship. Usually, out of 250 men in my area, I’m only interested in 1 or 2, but that’s fine with me. I usuallly go on for 5-10 minutes, get bored and leave, but each time there seems to be a new, interesting guy on there.

  4. D says:

    The hate on Plenty of Fish makes me wonder if I should try it. I’ve had good luck with online dating because I don’t write sleazy emails. Maybe I would stand out more from the amateurs?

  5. Matt Brand says:

    the idea of Date Dispatch is you get a better idea of someone when they post things on a regular basis, throughout a period of time like Facebook, but you don’t necessarily want to do your dating through Facebook. So it’s a social space exclusively for flirting and dating. :)

  6. CJ says:

    I’ve had a lot of fun on Crazy Blind Date, although they’re revamping the site right now (so no dates). You can’t take the site too seriously, but if you want a random coffee/drink with a stranger, they will take care of that need. I’m on OkCupid, but am not having much success.