Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Back to It – a Quick Online Dating Update

Back to It   a Quick Online Dating Update online dating  dating 300x192So I spent some this weekend cleaning up my online dating inboxes and actually searching through the hundreds of men who came up as my potential “matches”.  I sent out some emails, replied to some emails, and lo and behold, I hope I’m on my way to having a couple of dates this week.

I gotta say, and you all know this already, it’s a frustrating process. Some of the profiles are so bad.  SO. BAD. There were a couple of guys I just wanted to reach out to and say, “hey, please rewrite your profile because you’re never going to meet anyone this way.”  But, that would be rude?

But still, as frustrating as it gets, I keep reminding myself that it’s actually pretty damn efficient in terms of time/money spent per acquired/man met.  I’m able to sift through hundreds of guys I wouldn’t otherwise meet, many of them who seem pretty damn cool. And I get to learn things about them upfront that I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking on a first, second, or even tenth like “do you want kids?”.  I immediately eliminate the ones who say definitely, as I am not and think we’d be a mismatch.

Anyway, that’s where I am.  Square one. Meeting guys online and setting up dates.  My plan is to try to go on 2 first dates a week. Until… It’s not a bad place to be.


Tags: , ,

9 to “Back to It – a Quick Online Dating Update”


  1. Kate Morris says:

    I’m with you, I am so tempted sometimes to message a guy just to say “you’re doing it wrong.”

    • Simone Grant says:

      I tweeted something to that effect this weekend and was warned against it by a male follower. He felt it would be seen as “positive attention” by some desperate guy.

  2. SFSingleGuy says:

    “There were a couple of guys I just wanted to reach out to and say, “hey, please rewrite your profile because you’re never going to meet anyone this way.” But, that would be rude?”

    Not at all. It might be viewed as rude, but a couple years down the road, they’ll be grateful.

    • SFSingleGuy says:

      At one point I had a profile with the title that said ‘Man from the Mountain’, referencing the song. One girl dropped me a quick note saying that I might want to change the title, since Brokeback Mountain had just been released and was doing really well. I initially scoffed at the suggestion, but had a new profile title within 24 hours :)

  3. Kelly says:

    I agree with SFSG. There were profile/ emails I never responded to because they were so bad. But it might have helped some potentially good guys to get some suggestions in redoing their profiles. Many people are clueless when it comes to this stuff—and we make judgments based on 1 or 2 sentences. It’s a weird thing…a little more honesty would help the whole online dating scene I believe.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Yes, more honesty would help the whole online dating scene – and the whole dating scene.

      I try to be pretty open-minded about guys’ profiles. I try to find reasons to like them. Some of them make it so damn hard…

  4. Hm, maybe we should start a business helping people with their on-line profiles? Why should the dating sites get all the money!

  5. I think it’s a case of…are you telling me I look horrible in the dress before or after we’ve left the house.

    If we’re at home (aka numerous outfit options to choose from) and I ask you how I look, this is an acceptable time to tell me no (assuming you do it nicely). However, if I’m wearing the same said outfit and we’re already out at a bar or dancing, and I ask you how I look…you damn well better tell me fabulous and not ruin a perfectly good evening.

    I personally would want to know if there were some bits of my profile that I should change, christ! I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! lol

    But I think it’ll always be the case of offering to help someone out. Sometimes they’re grateful, sometimes they’re jerks