I think of myself as, primarily, a storyteller. Every once and a while I’ll share a how-to (which usually is more of a “how I did it” than an actual how-to) but one thing I never do is solicit questions from lovelorn readers.
Sometimes, though, readers come to me with their questions. And they know the deal. I’m no expert. Just a girl who’s dated a lot and who’s been in a lot of seriously messed up relationships. If, knowing that, someone wants my advice then I’m going to give it to them.
Recently a young(ish) man came to me with a problem. He’d done something terrible to upset his girlfriend and she ended their relationship. He was heartbroken. He tried to apologize, to get her back, but she wasn’t interested. So he kept trying. And in his emotionally overwrought state he did some things which he now realizes were inappropriate. He kept calling. And calling. And went by her home uninvited. He did things that could be considered scary, all of which he’s horribly sorry for.
And he still desperately wants her back and wants to know how to make it happen.
And he was asking me?
I told him that he might not like my advice. That I didn’t have any magic solutions for him but that there were several other people online who’d be happy to sell him magical Get Your Ex Back solutions. But that I didn’t really think that that was what he needed. I felt he needed to give this woman time. Because he’d been, basically, harassing her. She needed to not hear from him for a while. And then she deserved an apology. And then, even then, she might never want to speak to him again.
That the cold, hard truth is that their relationship might actually be over. Even if he still loves her and misses her. Because that’s just the way the world works. Some relationships fail. His might. It might not. But it might. And that he was going to have to accept that.
Funny how this just came up, btw, as I am struggling with my own end-of-relationship issues. Yeah, funny.
Tags: apology, expert, relationship, truth