I was at a friend’s 39th birthday party last night. I told her “welcome to the club, it’s a good club”. And I meant it. 39′s been a heck of a lot more interesting, so far, than 29 was. And I’m eagerly looking forward to my 40th birthday in a few months.
But as much as I feel like I’ve learned in the last decade, there are some things that just don’t get any easier. People, for instance. People are hard.
Case in point – I awoke this morning to a phone call. It was one of my oldest friends. He and I have known each other for 20 years. And he was furious with me. I did something yesterday to upset him (the details are kind of irrelevant). And looking back, I can see how what I did was ridiculously stupid. I did what I did because he did something to upset me, first, and I reacted poorly. Childish, I know.
When he realized that he’d woken me up (I had nasty insomnia last night and didn’t go to sleep til 4 or 5) he told me to call him when I was up. And then 5 minutes later he called again. He was too angry to go on with his day, he needed to speak with me right away (he and I are very much alike).
So we talked and realized that at the heart of our actions were a bunch of misunderstandings. I apologized, as did he. And I feel much better now. I hope he does too.
Anyway, my point is, this is someone I know very well and yet I still managed to hurt him. And the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt him. But that’s what people do sometimes, we hurt the people we love. Luckily he and I are both good at clearing the air and fixing things, otherwise this could’ve dragged on for who knows how long.
People are hard. Relationships are hard. Not just the dating/love/lust variety but all kinds of relationships. None of us are mind readers. None of us can ever know how anyone else is feeling at any given time. And none of us is perfect.
Or maybe I’m wrong, again…
Tags: 40, Birthday, friends, lust, Party