Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Little Fish, Big Pond and Still…

I’ve always thought of myself as a little fish in a big pond and happily so. Add that to the reasons I love New York, I guess. I can be and do whatever I want and know that, no matter what, I just fade into the crowd here. I’m barely a blip on the radar.

And yet, as big as this city is, sometimes it feels tiny.  Like this week, for instance.  This week I had another couple of men reappear from my past.  I was just minding my own business when all of a sudden these messages from men I recognize appear in my inbox.

The first was a man who I’d gone out with a few times, over the course of a year or so. But timing was not on our side.  He just now broke up with his latest girlfriend, and so he’s dating again… Not sure if we’ll get together or if anything (more) will happen this time.

The other one is a guy who completely flaked on me over the summer.  I don’t remember liking him all that much, and now he’s back acting as if he’s doing me a favor by emailing me.

Anyway, I find this stuff funny and bizarre.  There are just so many other fish in the sea, I don’t go chasing after near misses from my past.

Maybe I should?


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8 to “Little Fish, Big Pond and Still…”


  1. michelekerepesi says:

    the only thing a girl should chase is her vodka :)

  2. pups4me says:

    That’s the perfect way to describe someone from your past, a near miss–I love it!
    I admit that I am guilty of thinking about my near misses when I am feeling disappointed with my current dating life. I start to think maybe it would be better to give it another try with someone you know, rather than spend time fishing for the unknowns.
    I haven’t contacted any of them though…but I guess if they contacted me I would think about it. Of course it would depend on why it didn’t work the first time.
    At least you’re lucky you have a big pond to fish in…some of us are stuck in really, really tiny ponds.

    • Simone Grant says:

      There are definite advantages of a big pond. And some disadvantages, I’m sure. As I’ve said before, I’m quite sure we’re all spoiled for choice. Everyone is always looking for someone better to come along.

      In fact, I’m quite certain that’s why I get so many of these near misses coming back to me (4 or 5 a year at least). They walked away assuming there was someone better out there, or because they thought they met someone better. And now they’re single and lonely and thinking – OH HER, She had some good qualities. I should give her another try. Kind of like a dress you find in the back of your closet…

  3. Kelly says:

    I started emailing a couple of guys I briefly dated/ lost touch with when I broke up with my last boyfriend. It was nice email flirting for a while, but it didn’t last (like the last time). Anyway, I would go with the flow and keep meeting new people (not focus on them). The new men you meet will likely leave a better impression…there is a reason these guys faded. xo

    • Simone Grant says:

      Kelly,
      I tend to agree with you on this one. But I don’t want to close any doors unless I have a clear reason to. I guess I’m trying to be as open as I can be. Just as a policy.

  4. Dazediva says:

    Ooh I agree with michelekerepesi … chase the vodka not the men … if you can drink like them; you’re more appealing LOL

    But on a serious note, beautifully worded .. the men /women from our past are near-misses .. they are that for a reason ..

    After all its a big ocean out there – and we are all but small fish in the deep dark blue .. so many more corals and reefs to visit and find fun with :)