Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

It Was Worth It

It Was Worth It love is not enough  3704385306 07cf66a476 300x203Short, late post this morning because I fell asleep late last night at my computer (seriously, I feel asleep with my laptop open, on my lap, hunched over).  I’m not a cheerful little worker bee today and I have an insane amount of work to do.

So yesterday, after meeting about a bunch of work-ish stuff, a colleague told me this amazing story.  It was one of his personal stories (I”m not going to retell it, it’s his to tell).  It was full of emotion and suspense and highs and lows.  And it seemed like he really loved this woman and she really loved him.

But it didn’t work out for them. For a bunch of reasons.

Now in my perspective, the fact that they didn’t have a happily ever after doesn’t mean that the relationship was a failure.  They both got a lot out of it, for a time.  And hopefully they both learned things.  And even if they didn’t learn anything, so what?

I’ve had a couple of those.  Great love stories.  And a few lesser ones, that weren’t so much love stories as tawdry romps (which can be a hell of a lot of fun).  I got a lot out of them, at the time.  A lot of joy.  And other things.  And I learned a lot.

So where am I going with this?  I don’t know, I’m tired.  I think what I mean to say is that those days of love and joy were totally worth it. Whatever IT is.


16 to “It Was Worth It”

  1. Terry says:

    The great thing about life is sometimes love. I have had some wonderful relationships – and have had some really bad ones. I have had some great relationships that lasted for a few weeks, or months– and some bad ones that lasted for a few years.

    It is healthy and mature to look back, to learn from them. I love that I am friends with most of my serious relationships– and they still give me great advice and cheer me on. There are those that I don’t talk to, or when I talk to them it never ends well (much like the relationship) – one has to resolve to let go.

    I don’t have any great advice about how to find a good one, or a great one, or how to avoid a bad one. I wish I learned enough to pass on some wisdom. I suspect it is a limbic system that warns us – and that we should listen to. I wished I had listened to it a time or two before. So, no great words of wisdom other than this: a great love story – be it for a week or a lifetime – is worth it – and if you find it, no matter where it is, no matter what– go for it. (damn, I just think I gave you advice – please forgive me)

  2. I am not sure I completely agree, or it could just be the state of mind I am in.. I have been part of a great love story too, where I loved the guy more than I could ever imagine loving another person, and he loved me too..(atleast I think he did) but it didn’t work out.. a year and a bit later, and I still miss him and pine for him.. so, even though I learned a lot about myself yet the pain sometimes gets too unbearable and I often wonder if all that happiness for a short amount of time worth it?

    • Simone Grant says:

      Miss Over Thinker,
      First, welcome and thanks for commenting. I know that pain. It SUCKS. And you have every right to feel that, for you, it wasn’t worth it. Everyone is different.

  3. AJR says:

    Thanks for the post! I was up late and wandering/wondering myself. I’ve been thinking a lot about your happiness vs. happily ever after, and I’ll keep you posted for my conclusions, but right now it sounds like just what I need. If you’re interested in another entertaining love story, please do check out my blog. I hope you don’t mind that I’ve added you to my blog list as well!

    • Simone Grant says:

      I love your site and THANK YOU for adding me to your blog list. I’m honored. I think “happiness vs. happily ever after” is something ever single person needs to contemplate. Not because they are always an either/or. Many lucky people get to have both. But not everyone, IMO. Lots of people have to choose one or the other. And some people make the choice w/o realizing they’re choosing, if you know what I mean?

  4. Dazediva says:

    Ahhh .. made my heart SIGH … I’ve had 2-3 great love stories .. there’s really nothing I want to change in them .. I learned a lot after it all ended …. Those days were definitely worth i t .. its helped develop me as the person I am today :)

    • Kandy says:

      Those moments are so totally worth it. I’ve never regretted any moment that has made a mark on me, even if it ended in disaster. If anything its those moments where i didn’t try and stayed on the sidelines that i consider a failure – I never tried and perhaps missed out on something big or even just big momentarily.

  5. Charlotte says:

    I love this post so much. In life, I think it’s important that we walk away from all relationships (even if they are not of the romantic kind) with a lesson learned. I find that the relationships that often didn’t work helped me gain an entirely new perspective.

  6. Sharmila says:

    My biggest love story didn’t last, it was 4 years of pure bliss and I was heartbroken when it ended. Looking back, that relationship thought me so much and I now know that I can love and be loved, that I can grow, whatever age I am and that life doesn’t end with a broken heart.

  7. Shannon says:

    oh by do you have me thinking… thinking and drinking. man, I’ve got this GREAT story that ..wait, no, two great stories, that I’ve been meaning to write for a very, very long time.

  8. Deidra says:

    This is a thinker, love to me is one of the most mystical and misunderstood things we have as people.

  9. Franksexual says:

    Well, it is like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind isn’t it? All relationships are worth it as they teach you something. There was something else I read or watched recently that looked at this and I now forget…Someone wrote something lovely…about how we often just take the endings and define the relationship on this and its value when all the good stuff that came before was of value too…and how we focus on the negative when there is so much positive…ah yes! It was a performance piece I watched at the Edinburgh Festival…I remember it now.

  10. Flirtfirst says:

    Dating site are a great way to meet new people.

  11. Dean says:


    Re-found your website today. I’m not dating. But I do like your writing style, that you live inside your head (me too I believe), and that you are not fond of labels either. It also helps that you write about real feelings and emotions as opposed to the idealized dating and romance that you find on some other sites. I guess the best way to sum this up is that I find you an interesting person.

    Dean recently posted..The Honey of DespairMy Profile

  12. Samantha says:

    I sincerely feel this post. I’ve only had 2 great loves of my life and even though I honestly thought I would be with them for a long time, possibly even forever, it didn’t work out. There were so many great times but there were bad times too… I wonder when will it ever work out. I know there’s supposed to be someone out there for each one of us but I always wonder when I’ll meet the one for me. I just found this site today and I’m excited to read through more of this blog. :)

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