Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Dating Game Update: Not Winning/Not Losing

Earlier this month I wrote a couple of times about a game, an experiment, I was trying with Lucky Girl.  I haven’t mentioned it in a while though, and there’s a reason for that.

It went really poorly.

At first it was fun, looking at guys’ profiles for someone else.  I’d send her a bunch (trying to remember to look at their heights, because she’s 9 inches taller than me and so height is a factor for her) and hope that she approved.  But I found myself being really picky, because I didn’t want to recommend just anyone to her.  I wanted them to seem like really awesome guys.

And I got genuinely upset when she then wrote to some of these awesome seeming guys and they didn’t write back.  Which is ridiculous because I don’t care a bit when guys don’t write me back.

Meanwhile, she kept sending suggestions my way.  And much to my embarrassment I’d already gone out with a bunch of them. And, of course, some of the “good ones” that she did recommend, the ones I hadn’t been out with yet, didn’t bother to write me back.

NOT a good experiment.

Both of us continued to shop for guys for ourselves, and we both had rocky months as far as that goes.  The one thing I know for sure is that I’m pretty much done with .  I was so successful there for so many years, but I am now officially too old for that site.  I still get messages from guys in their 50s and 60s and 20s. But it’s the end of the month and the only something men I’ve had contact with on nerve live in other parts of the country (those long distance guys are sweet, but).   Oh, and him. It’s not that there’s a dearth of guys in their 40s, from NYC, on the site.  There are literally thousands of them.  And last year, and the years before, I was swimming in them.  But not now.

I’m going to make the assumption that it has to do with my age, as not much else has changed about me.  Or maybe it’s something else?  Who knows?

So it wasn’t a great month in the .  It wasn’t a win.  But I didn’t “lose” either.

I tried.


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8 to “The Dating Game Update: Not Winning/Not Losing”


  1. cyza says:

    Yes, indeed you are right. Not losing and not winning, but time is clicking. But, I think you really need to be firm and know what and how you really want your partner to look / behave like.

    It’s not a good month, but there’s always a new month that you can try again. Good luck to you :)

    • Simone Grant says:

      Cyza,
      Thanks for the comment and the luck, but I get the impression from your comment that you and I have very different perspectives on dating.”Time is clicking”. Sounds like you’re implying I should be in a hurry. I’m not.

      • Amber says:

        Sorry, but had to kind of laugh at “time is clicking”. Could we just have some fun and great experiences? Whatever happens will…so sit back and enjoy the ride.

  2. Fishy says:

    Hey Simone – just wanted to say I’m still loving your work. Never seem to get the time to comment anymore – reckon I need to seperate the wheat from the chaff and start reading fewer dating blogs. Love the new template too. Your old one was nice but this works better.
    plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com

    • Simone Grant says:

      :-) Thanks for dropping by. I find it pretty much impossible to comment on “everyone’s” blogs. There are just too many. And thank you. Still tinkering.

  3. Simone, your attitude and determination to keep working on your love life (and website) never ceases to amaze me. I love the way you ended this post; and as cliche as it sounds, trying is what matters most. Can’t wait to read more of your views this year!

    • Simone Grant says:

      Thanks for the vote of confidence, darling. Silly as it sounds, I could really use it. My blog was kicking my ass today. I need some seriously remedial lessons in everything tech. I’m just a “never quit” kind of person. Which also means I drive myself nuts. Always.


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