Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Little Morsels

  • Earlier this week I had an interesting conversation with a friend.  I shared with her my belief that timing is VERY important (that 2 people who want the same thing at the same time are likely to work as a couple, whereas two people who don’t want the same thing at the same time are unlikely to work no matter how much they love each other).  She politely disagreed. She believes that timing is important, but not nearly as important as I think it is.  That if a guy loves a woman, is really crazy about her, then that would completely change his world/up-end his priorities. And he would make it work. Because he’d want it to.  And if he didn’t love her THAT much, then he might let things like timing and work schedules and geography, etc. get in the way.
  • I read this on Twitter yesterday and it stuck with me. @thebiggirlblog wrote:  “spoke to a friend last night after a breakup. she said “I just want to be the girl that guys wont let get away” heavy stuff #love #dating”
  • Not too long ago I got an email from a friend with a link to a blogpost from a self-help guru type.  It was a good post from a smart guy.  Here is (part of ) my reponse, “Smart guy, though no matter how smart the author I have a knee-jerk negative reaction to personal development as a theme/subject.  There’d be no great art / literature if everyone were happy and well-adjusted…(I had more to say, but that’s enough for here).
  • I read this on over the weekend on one of my favorite sites. Words Left Unspoken by FabMissK, Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley

You could probably find a theme here, if you wanted to.  Maybe even two or three.


8 to “Little Morsels”

  1. Brittany says:

    The whole timing issue is a good one to think about it. Maybe we’d like to blame a failed relationship on timing because its easier than accepting the fact that the guy just didn’t care enough to make it work.

  2. Miss Alpha says:

    Love the Bob Marley quote!

    I’m sort of on the fence between the two philosophies. I don’t think people can make it work on rebound. Period… but I do think that when a man really cares and respects you, he will find a way to fit you in no matter how busy he is OR he will be honest with you and cut you loose so as to not monopolize your time.

  3. sugar says:

    Your friend is correct normally, but timing can still ruin even the best of intentions. We all have those relationships where in retrospect, we wish we acted different, but due to the circumstances, time, and place in our lives, someone managed to fuck it up. Generally speaking though, if someone is truly into you, they will get pass the obstacles, and make you a priority. You’ll be seen as relief from daily life, and rather than let time factor into anything, you act like time has stopped when together… and 80’s synth pop kicks in wherever you go.

    • Simone Grant says:

      That’s a wonderful, and mature, way to put it. “timing can ruin even the best of intentions”. As I’ve said, this is something I’ve struggled a lot with and thinking of it in that context makes a lot of sense.

  4. I’ve had some experience with this and I thinks it depends on (1) how much the girl or guy like each other, and (2) their personalities. I had a guy that I really liked and saw potential in but knew I was leaving the country at the end of the year. He really liked me too (told me so) but wanted to have a serious relationship with someone who was going to be around. Which I get but I’m the kind of person that will just go for it and then deal with it later. If things went well I would have made it work somehow. But his response was that no matter how much he liked me he wasn’t going to put himself out there(albeit he had children too, so there was that to think of too). But something in me says that he didn’t like me enough to take the risk. Or because of his personality put a kabash before he could even find out. The timing part though is that I know we would have been together if I’d stayed in the country. Life’s a bitch.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Life’s a bitch and love stinks! Hallelujah!

      I’m like you, if I feel it then I’m going to go for it and deal with the logistics later. Hasn’t served me well so far, gotta be honest.