Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

93% is Really High

I had a date tonight.  It was my first “real” date in about two months, I think.  I’m not exactly sure about how long it’s been, I guess I could check the blog archives and come up with an exact date.  And there has certainly been some date-like activity (but that’s so another story and probably not one I’m going to tell for a while).

Anyway, this was a date that I wasn’t sure I should accept.  He did not meet my basic criteria (he lives in the burbs) but there was something about him that made me think…maybe.  We both just seemed to be in the same place in our lives right now.  Kinda almost.

So we made plans to meet at the Campbell Apartment, a place I love.  It seemed like a good idea since he was going through Grand Central anyway.  But it was too crowded so we ended up at Pershing Square across the street.  Not the same vibe, at all. Whatever.

We got a table and had a pleasant enough, completely awkward chat.  He’s a nice enough guy.  I’m a nice enough woman.  It was all very nice.  He looked and seemed quite a bit older than the 44 he claimed and he mentioned, more than once, that I seemed much younger than 39.

There was a part of me that wanted to make a quick exit.  He was just so NOT my type of guy.  And every once in a while he said something truly cringeworthy.  But he had a lovely smile and, well, seemed really genuine in a way that so few people do, anymore.  Like he had no filter.  Like he really didn’t care if I liked him or not.  Which of course made me start to like him a bit.

And then, about 90 minutes into us chatting, as our conversation lulled, he said, “so I’m trying to figure out how we’re a 93% match”.

I smiled and said nothing.

“93% is really high.  We must have answered a lot of questions the same way.”

I continued to smile.  It started to hit me that the only reason this guy was SO into me (he was rather relentless, sending me several messages a day) was because of some silly questions I answered on an online dating site.

I giggled a little and said that it was only a bunch of silly questions and that I didn’t take it seriously.  And then he said something to the effect of, “oh, sure” and dropped it.

The funny thing is that it wasn’t a bad date.  It wasn’t a good date but it wasn’t a bad date, either.  Meh, maybe I’m just out of practice?


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10 to “93% is Really High”


  1. Terry says:

    Glad you got out and had a date.

    Practice– no- you just had a blah date. It’s ok – better than a bad date, but not as good as the date that rocks your world.

    Get out there more-

  2. Miss Alpha says:

    I don’t think you can be out of practice being attracted to someone… it’s a natural element of life. Clearly the spark was lacking. It’s just your typical “meh” date. I had one tonight, too. :)

  3. It was eh. No chemistry but he wasn’t a total jerk. To decent people meeting with no sparks. That’s all.

    No worries. And the practice is worth it.

  4. Singlegal says:

    I think those quizzes are funny and the “matching” feature. Was he knew to the scene?
    I lack serious filter myself, but I’m not sure if I could date someone who was completely like me in that aspect. But, when it comes to dating, I do surely like someone that lacks pretenciousness.
    I hope you enjoyed yourself!

  5. Simone Grant says:

    -Terry
    I’m glad I got out and had a date, too. And yes, I need to get out there more. I have a date scheduled for tonight but I think the guy is flaking on me. Not entirely his fault. Long story. Anyway… It’s good to be “out there” again.
    -Miss Alpha
    I guess you’re right. It’s either there or it’s not. Sorry your date was meh too.
    -OpinionatedGift
    Excellent summary. It makes me laugh. Because in a lot of places and times, that might be enough to get married!
    -Singlegal
    I think they’re funny too and couldn’t quite believe he took it that seriously. The funny thing is, he isn’t that new to dating. He’s been divorced for 4 years. But he was married for all of his 30s and much of his 20s and so I guess he doesn’t “get” dating. Different worlds, I guess. And yes, I prefer to be with someone who lacks pretentiousness, which is why it wasn’t a bad date:-)

  6. bernice newell says:

    sounds ok to me-if he wants go again-he may grow on you!

    • Simone Grant says:

      I don’t think there’s a second date there. One of the things I learned is that our lifestyles are radically different (which I should have learned in pre-date screening…). And I KNOW not to make that mistake again. Still, it was good to have a not-bad date :-)

  7. bernice newell says:

    did my last post show up-go out again!

  8. Well, the date takes two people, so I’m sure it wasn’t just that you were out of practice! But I think if it’s not a great date, then there’s not much chance that it will develop into a great relationship. However, I am a bit of a cynic!

    By the way, did you read this article about myths about online dating profile pics? Pretty interesting statistics arose – just thought you’d be interested with your ebook and all :)
    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/01/20/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

    • Simone Grant says:

      I always find their stats interesting. But also don’t take them too seriously as they’re not representative of the online dating community as a whole – just their members. As someone who uses their service and many other services as well, I can say with absolutely certainty that their members are not “typical”, LOL.