Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Blind Date?

As I’ve mentioned, I started back in the dark ages, when very few people had their pictures posted.  Not only didn’t people have their pictures posted, but most of us didn’t have a digital version of ourselves to send as an attachment in an email.  I remember one guy asking me for one and me freaking out about using the scanner at work (I didn’t want anyone there to know that I was using it for ).  I ended up telling him no and, well, that was the end of that.

So all of those dates back then were basically blind dates.  The guys had filled out the online forms describing themselves (height, weight, whatever) but I’d never seen any of them.  And honestly, those dates don’t stand out in my memory as having been particularly bad.  In fact, I met a guy I liked I lot (who I thought was totally hot) and we dated for a while (until I couldn’t deal with his baggage anymore, but that’s another story).

So I guess what I’m saying is that while looks matter, and anyone who says they don’t is lying, I kind of like blind dates.  There’s something exciting about the unknown.  And in some ways, it’s easier to give a person a clean slate if you have no idea what they look like, as opposed to walking into a first date with someone who you already think is gorgeous (and therefore have certain hopes and expectations).

Yeah, yeah, there’s a question here.  I gather, based on how infrequently blind dates happen nowadays, that very few people are open to them.  That most people would only consider a date with someone if they’ve seen a picture of that person in advance (whether it were a set up by a friend or an online dating situation).  But maybe I’m wrong.  I often am.

Would you go on a blind date?

  • Yes. What have I got to lose. (27 votes)
  • No. Sorry, I’d want to see a picture. (19 votes)
  • It depends on the situation. If it were a set up by a friend: yes. If it were a stranger: no. (50 votes)
  • Other. Please explain in the comments. (3 votes)

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10 to “Blind Date?”

  1. Singlegal says:

    I went on an “almost” blind date a little over a year ago. After weeks of talking to this guy, i asked for a picture. He sent me a somewhat fuzzy, head shot that looks as though it was taken as a self portrait in a garage. This didn’t bother me TOO much, until I met him in person. And he was heavy. Very, very heavy.
    Now, had he sent me a picture that I felt accurately displayed “him”, I would have gone on the date anyway. What I was miffed at was the attempt at deceit. I’m sure he was self-conscious about his weight, but what it caused me to be was rather startled when I met him, because it wasn’t what I was expecting because he hadn’t represented himself accurately in my opinion.
    That’s what pictures are about for me – getting to know a person. Hope this makes sense!

  2. lucky gal says:

    Not only “would I” darling Simone, but I intend to go on one that you send me on in the month of January :-)

  3. PMFoutofwater says:

    The thought terrifies me, Simone. That look of disappointment on a girl’s face stays with you for many months. The only way I’d do it is if a mutual friend set us up because they thought we were a good match.

  4. Liverpoolgirl says:

    Hi Simone – I hope you are really well. I think you know what I think – true love is a very rare and precious commodity, it comes not from surface attraction but from deep down connection and care – blind date or not, it is extremely hard to find and I suspect it comes along about once in a lifetime, and at what stage none of us knows. So – what do I think about blind dates? If you’re looking for true love then take whatever opportunity comes along to find it – it can come from the most unusual of places! Hope you’re having a lovely holiday and very much hope we’ll see you v soon xxx

  5. starangel82 says:

    Even though most dating sites have pictures, you are still half blind dating. Majority of the online dates I’ve been on, the guy only looks remotely like his pic (less hair, less or more weight, using a much younger pic, etc). Because of that, the thought of a totally blind date might make me a little nervous, but doesn’t totally terrify me.

  6. SecretSquirrel says:

    I would never go on a totally blind date like that. Maybe it says something about me, but the “type” of man I’m sexually drawn to is pretty specific. And I was in a sexless marriage once, so sex is pretty damn important to me, therefore sexual attraction is pretty damn important too. Even with online dating, I do a TON of weeding out just from pictures. I want the total package–height, looks, chemistry, personality, humor, companionship.

  7. Veka says:

    When I had my online dating profile back in April/May, I only went on one date from the site. And he was hot and looked exactly like his picture. He turned out to be a narcissist, but that’s another story. I met my current bf “online” technically, but he was a mutual friend of all my friends and we already knew who each other was, so that’s how we started talking. We exchanged pictures at the beginning. I have to admit, looks are important because (as superficial as this might sound) I don’t believe anyone can be in a 100% happy relationship if they are not physically attracted to the other person. Therefore (when I was single) I wouldn’t go out with someone unless I knew what they looked like ahead of time.

  8. Simone Grant says:

    I’ve had quite a few of those and yes, it’s the deceit that I find most offensive. But the thing is, I can’t find obese guys attractive, so if the pics were accurate I wouldn’t have have said yes. I would, however, go on blind dates. And if my blind date happened to be obese, I wouldn’t be attracted to him but I wouldn’t be annoyed that he lied to me. So at least we could have a pleasant enough evening.
    – lucky gal
    Well darling, those won’t be blind dates. I fully expect you to check out their profiles pre date :-)
    – PMFoutofwater
    You are the drama king :-) But I do understand the sentiment. And the response.
    – Liverpoolgirl
    I get it honey. And believe me, I’m trying hard to be as open to love as humanly possible. PS – yes, I hope to see you very soon.
    Yep. Sometimes I think back on all of my online dating “meets” and the ones that went best were not usually with the guys who looked most like their pics. In fact, I’ve had really serious relationships with guys who looked nothing like their pics. Maybe the pics really don’t help us at all?
    Sex is very important to me. VERY. I’m with you. I just don’t think it’s something I can tell from a pic, I guess.
    You don’t sound superficial. You sound honest. Looks matter to everyone (to different people to different levels). Some of us are just willing to show up in person – to chance it. I figure it’s an hour at most (usually less if it’s a horrible date). But I totally get why some people aren’t open to blind dates.

  9. dazediva says:

    Hey Simone,
    I selected No I’d want to see a picture – but really I don’t mind if its set up by a friend and I don’t see the picture. If it were a total stranger – need to see some sort of picture. I’ve actually never really been on a blind date. I’ve met two guys online who I met up with – but had seen their pictures. One was exactly like his picture. The other one was better than his picture.
    I suppose the pic helps with the initial decision making process of whether I’d want to meet the person or not.

  10. Thanks for posting, I very much enjoyed your newest post. I think you should post more often, you obviously have talent for blogging!