Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Best Question

I was out the other night with a friend and for the most part we were talking about work stuff. I’ve hit a bit of a crossroads with my work and she was gracious enough to offer to listen to me talk about it for a while. I’m one of those people who likes to talk things out. Answers magically appear out of nowhere when I’m talking, whereas nothing makes the slightest bit of sense when I’m sitting at home stewing in my own confusion.

Speaking of crossroads and confusion, I’ll write a little more about all of that stuff sometime soon. I try to keep this blog focused on sex, dating, relationships and issues related to being single and so I haven’t felt comfortable mentioning work/business stuff here. But the truth is, it’s entirely relevant. I wrote, over a month ago, that I was going to start dating again. And I haven’t. And the main reason I haven’t is because I’ve been overwhelmed with work related stress.

Anyway, we didn’t spend the whole night talking about my silly business issues. Eventually we talked about more frivolous topics – men and dating. We talked about the types of guys we tend to date (over and over) and online dating and recent exes and at some point she shared a piece of advice that a good friend once gave her. If you’re wondering whether you should be with a guy, ask yourself this question, “Do you want your sons growing up to be like him?”


I’d never heard that before but I gotta say, that’s definitely one of the smartest things I’ve ever heard in regards to relationships. Even as a woman who’s not going to have kids, I feel like it just drives to the very heart of why I might not want a man in my life. Because, seriously, if I wouldn’t want my (theoretical) sons to grow up and be like someone, then he probably isn’t good enough for me.

Now, I just have to remember to live that advice.

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