Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Yeah, OK, There’s Stuff I’m Leaving Out

I’m trying to be as honest, and helpful, as I can be with this How To Find a Great F*Buddy Series. I didn’t just want to give you a neat little list, but rather show you just how long and hard a path it was for me. I’m hoping that each post has a lesson in it (for the keen observer). And in the end (tomorrow, btw) I’ll wrap it all up with a neat little bow (summary/list).

But before I can do that I need to own up to some stuff I left out. I didn’t leave anything out because of shame or embarrassment (clearly not, look what I’ve admitted to). No, as usual, my crappy memory is failing me and I’m not able to remember exactly when certain things happen. I can’t even remember roughly when.

I do know there was a guy I met and liked and we hit it off and I thought he was a definite candidate. But then he called me and asked me to accompany him to a sex club. And I told him that that wasn’t my scene (not making judgments against anyone else, it’s just not my thing – especially not then as being seen at a club would have put my job in jeopardy). And then I never heard from him again.

And there were the few times that me and my ex (the one I didn’t/don’t work with sexually) decided to “try again” and ended up naked and frustrated and depressed. Because I didn’t want a new boyfriend, but in the beginning of this journey (for the first many months, at least) I still wanted things to magically work out with him. And they couldn’t, of course.

The one thing I didn’t do was mess with any of my male friends. I thought about it (believe me, I thought about everything). But I was 100% sure that I didn’t want to screw up any of my friendships. And I was equally sure that adding sex into the mix would be sure to do that.

So month after month, for I don’t remember how long, I continued on my search for a . Some random guy I didn’t know well, would never know well, to have sex with occasionally and nothing more. And it eventually worked out.

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