Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

How To Find A Great F*Buddy (it ain’t easy), Part 7

It was winter. That I’m certain of. And I’d just gotten a promotion at work which meant even longer hours and more stress. I half considered giving up my search for a and just giving in to a life of celibacy, at least in the short-run, but I’d figured I’d try for a little while longer (I’m nothing if not tenacious).

The next guy I remember meeting (there may have been a few more harmless duds in the line-up) is “Smiley”. I very distinctly recall meeting Smiley in a bar, rather late one night. I’m guessing that because I was working 6 days a week at the time it was hard for me to schedule a . I might have just given up and said let’s meet for drinks after work (and I usually worked really late).

Anyway, Smiley and I had completely electric chemistry in the bar and even engaged in some inappropriate PDA. It was late and time to go, at which point he tried really hard to get me to go home with him. I was tempted (very tempted) but said no. I suggested he call/email me to schedule a time for us to get together.

And then he emailed over a month later. I replied with a no. That was just too long to wait. Too much like, all my other one night stand attempts worked out for the past month and now I’m finally getting to you. Ick.

But then I heard from him again a few days later. And then again, a few days later. So more like his latest flame ended. Whatever, I hadn’t met anyone better and so I invited him over to my place one Sunday.

And the was dreadful. Dreadful in a very specific way. He was one of those guys who has lots of anger issues. Who doesn’t smile during and for whom is/seems a bit like a violent act (I’m not talking kinky or s & m; I’m just talking about straight out violent/aggressive behavior). Which I guess wouldn’t be dreadful for some women. But I kinda need my guys to smile. To seem like they are experiencing joy. To not have the facial expressions of a psychopath kicking a puppy.

Afterwards, he seemed happy as a clam and I continued to hear from him with requests to get together for months after that. At first I replied that I was too busy. Then I just stopped replying. I figured it was better that way. I just wanted him to stop trying. He knew my phone number and where I lived and frankly, he gave me the creeps.

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