And here’s when things got really strange. My memory is fuzzy, but I think the very next guy I met was someone I’ll call Newsboy (he’s a journalist, but that has nothing to do with this story). Anyway, Newsboy and I met the same way I met the others. And we hit it off right away. We were clearly attracted to one another, had tons of chemistry to spare and got along pretty much from the start. Our second “date” followed shortly after our first and we started seeing each other regularly. Things were good (the sex was great) and I was happy.
And then one night, we were lying in my bed after and I was expecting him to get up and leave any minute because I don’t let fuckbuddies stay the night, all of sudden he says, “Would you like to see a movie with me this week, or is that not the kind of thing you want to do together?”
I think I might have laughed at first. I was so caught off guard and I tend to laugh when I’m caught off guard. And then I said, “sure we could do that.”
Big mistake. Big fucking mistake.
We started, essentially, dating. Going on “regular” dates. Dinner, movies, parties where we met each others friends. And it was nice enough and the sex was still great. But neither of us could ever figure out where we stood with the other. I don’t know if things might have been different if we met under different circumstances and then just started dating (not having spent a few months just as fuckbuddies first). But we just completely sucked at communicating with one another on some pretty basic things. Usually because one of us assumed the other would be OK with what we were thinking or already knew what the other wanted or some other stupidity like that. We had this completely shallow sense of intimacy and couldn’t figure out a way to strengthen it.
Anyway, I eventually got completely pissed off and lost my temper with him. I gave him 24 hours to get his stuff from my apartment or it was all going in the trash. It all went in the trash.
And then, maybe 9 or 10 or maybe even 11 months later I reached out to him and apologized for the way I lost my temper. And he apologized for some stuff too. And I explained that I’d just had a nasty break-up with a man who’d been very mean to me and I needed some special comfort but my fuckbuddy (my current fuckbuddy) was out of town for work and would be for a long while. And well, Newsboy and I became friends with benefits. We would go to parties together, as friends, and also get together for sex. It was really nice while it lasted.
So he went from fuckbuddy, to guy I was dating, to ex I wasn’t speaking to, to friend with benefits, to an ex I’m on OK terms with but whose current girlfriend would prefer I not exist so we rarely communicate.
I’m sure there’s a lesson in there somewhere.
Tags: dating, fuckbuddy, great sex, how to find a great fuckbuddy