Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

How To Find A Great F*Buddy (it ain’t easy), Part 4

Not long after that first date, I made plans to meet another guy from nerve for coffee. Unlike my “regular” dates with men I meet online, I made it a practice of always meeting guys who were interested in NSA for coffee/during the day. I didn’t think they were more dangerous, or anything like that. I just figured I was being more cautious. This one looked exactly like his picture and we had instant chemistry.

Only one problem, he was kinda a .  Now, if it were a normal date and I was trying to decide whether of not I “liked” the guy I would never have agreed to see him again.  Never.  But it wasn’t.  And quite frankly, it never occurred to me that I might  a) meet someone with whom I had good chemistry b) think he was a jerk c) decide to fuck him anyway, as it was just NSA sex.  But all of a sudden I found myself telling him that I’d love to see him sometime soon, and we both knew what that meant.

A few nights later we did see each other again. And the sex was good.  Not great, but good.  And he was an even bigger douchebag than I remembered. I tried to ignore it/him, but there are those 5-15 minutes before and after and…

Anyway, I saw him a couple of more times before I decided I had to call an end to it.  It’s one thing to have occasional sex with an ex who’s a dick because the sex is great.  It’s another thing altogether to have occasional sex with a guy you just met who’s a dick because the sex is good. It left me feeling pathetic. Settling for (good) sex with someone I didn’t like or respect was just not good for my self-esteem.


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2 to “How To Find A Great F*Buddy (it ain’t easy), Part 4”


  1. Apodiform says:

    Just discovered your site recently, and have to say I’m rather enjoying this recent series. Kudos to you for being so honest in your writing and putting it out there!

  2. Simone Grant says:

    -Apodiform
    Thanks and welcome to the blog. I’m glad you’re enjoying the series. I don’t deserve any kudos. This is what I do. If I did any less it would be dishonest and utterly useless.