So, one of yesterday’s funnier comments started with this, “The cherry on this delusional, self-important sundae is how you think meeting a guy online interested in no strings sex is an accomplishment.”
Actually, I do. As I might have mentioned, I’ve had the same fuckbuddy for years. We have pretty awesome sex, every time. Get along well as people. Respect one another. In other words, it’s the perfect situation for both of us. And when I meet a guy and become involved (as I have several times since we’ve met) my fb wishes me well -means it- and tells me to call if things don’t work out. I couldn’t ask for more.
But like I said, I consider this an accomplishment because it was, actually, hard to accomplish. It took a hell of a lot of work to find him. Perhaps the haughty author of that comment has never tried to find a long-term fuckbuddy online? Perhaps she doesn’t approve of such things? Or perhaps no one would be interested in having such a relationship with her?
In any case, I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, the actual story of how I came to find my fuckbuddy. A how-to (or how I did). This is going to take several posts, because it’s a long story with several, um, chapters. There was a lot of trial and error involved. It really wasn’t easy.
For today’s installment, let’s talk about why. What possessed me to go looking for sex dating online? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But yeah, I’m sure there are some people who think there’s something wrong with that.
I’d just gotten out of a relationship. It wasn’t a very long one. About 3 months or so. I adored the guy. He’s still one of my favorite people in the world. We liked each other a lot, enjoyed each other’s company, respected one another. Lots of good stuff. Except for the sex. The sex didn’t work. We were not, at all, sexually compatible. And it took us a few months to acknowledge this to ourselves and each other because neither of use wanted it to be true. Neither of us wanted us to not work as a couple. But we didn’t.
The morning we broke up was hard. I was angry. Not at him. At the universe. I couldn’t understand why I’d met such a wonderful person only to find myself unable to be with him. And I said, out loud, that it wasn’t fair. And he agreed with me and said something about how if it were 20 years ago we’d get married and have 3 kids and be miserable for the rest of our lives. And the truth is, I know lots of people who would still do that now. Which is probaby why I’m fascinated by people who make those choices. Because I couldn’t.
Anyway, we’re good friends now, which is the way it should be. And after he and I split I realized that I didn’t really want to “date” anyone. I just wanted to have lots and lots of great sex. That I was unbelievably sexually frustrated and that that was my priority. Sex. Finding good sex. Great sex. And so I started to look for a fuck buddy.
And that wasn’t easy.
Tags: bad sex, fuckbuddy, good sex, how to find a great fuckbuddy