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Could You Forgive, Take 2

So you all know how I feel about the Tiger Woods thing(my opinion doesn’t change now that we know he was spreading the around) – lots of people . Some of them get caught. Some couples break up. Some stay together. I’m tired of hearing about it.

Anyway, way back in March I did a poll about cheating and forgiveness. But I had fewer/different readers back then and so I thought it would be interesting to do the same poll now (especially since all everyone’s been talking about is Tiger and his cheating ways).

The question was/is: If your partner strayed, would that mean the end of the relationship?

  • Yes! I could never trust someone who cheated on me. (49 votes)
  • No. I understand that people make mistakes. I would forgive them. (8 votes)
  • It’s complicated. I don’t think this is a black/white issue. Instead, there’s just lots of gray. (85 votes)


4 to “Could You Forgive, Take 2”

  1. Single Gal in Toronto says:

    Great poll. My opinion on this has changed over the years, and I think this reflects maturity.

    I used to think that cheating was black and white – if you cheat on me, you’re history. In fact, I once broke up with a guy over the mere possibility (he denied it).

    Now, I realize that it’s SO grey. I think what’s important is WHY he cheated. And also, the circumstances – was it a fling with a sexy stranger? Or an ongoing affair? Huge difference!

    For the record – Tiger Woods is guy, and a famous one at that – his wife is a fool if she honestly thought he wouldn’t cheat. But hey – we don’t know for a fact that she didn’t know… lots of couples have open relationships… I used to be one of them. If I was going to have a relationship with a professional athlete, famous actor, etc, open would be the only way to go… IMO.

  2. Singletude says:

    I’d agree with Single Gal above that forgiveness depends on the circumstances. Assuming that the relationship was NOT open, things to consider would include how long the affair(s) was/were ongoing, how many other partners there were, whether love was involved or just sex, and what problems in the relationship may have contributed to the cheater’s behavior. Although I ultimately think the cheater is more to blame because he/she has a choice to walk away rather than cheat, it DOES seem more understandable when the primary relationship has been floundering for a long time and both partners know it. I have particular sympathy for men or women whose spouses deny them sex entirely but want to stay together because that’s really not fair.

    However, I’d have to disagree that high-status individuals are incapable of fidelity. I’m sure they face a lot more temptation, but it’s always their choice to succumb or not.

    On a personal note, yes, I have been cheated on, and yes, I forgave him. But then he repeated it. Again. And again. And then I stopped forgiving. No other cheaters in my history, to my knowledge.

  3. Single Gal in Toronto says:

    Oh yes – I agree – it’s always their choice! And certainly there are high-status individuals who have been faithful, I have no doubt.

    Being famous is not an excuse for infidelity. It’s just statistically more common (I’d imagine) since they have more opportunities (being on the road, having members of the opposite sex throwing themselves at them)… it would take considerably more “moral fiber” to resist in those situations!

  4. is05 says:

    Just with what single gal in toronto was saying about the whole he is a male & famous one at that comment.. When did that become an excuse. Over the years there have been numerous famous men caught for cheating & the excuse commonly used is that. I don’t see how having a penis & having a celebrity status means that your exempt somehow from the basic rules of marriage, or a relationship. I get people aren’t perfect & make mistakes, but justifying the mistakes with “yeah but he’s a guy” just doesn’t seem right.