Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Seriously, hahahaha

The above was a text I sent recently.  It was meant to be derisive in tone, although I don’t know if that came across.

Here’s the back story:  I have actually exchanged a couple of emails with M in the last few weeks.  A couple.  They were short and unpleasant and I didn’t think they were worth mentioning here.  He wrote to say he really did want to speak with me, he was “just too busy”.  I replied that I had been interested in hearing him out, out of curiosity if nothing else.  And that his issue wasn’t that he was too busy but rather it wasn’t that important to him (something I’ve stated many times before, in many contexts).

So I was on the phone the other night with one of my best guy friends.  It was nearing midnight, which is when we tend to talk (we’re both night owls).  All of sudden I get a text.  It’s from M (fyi, his number is not saved in my phone, but I know it by sight) asking if I’m up and available to talk.  No lead in.  No, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to this (which would have caused me to have a heart attack, as M doesn’t apologize).  Just, am I up and available to talk.

I immediately interrupted our conversation about much more interesting things to tell my friend who a) laughed and b) was not surprised.  We both had a little chuckle about it because, let’s face it, at this point it’s really quite funny.

I felt like the “right thing” to do would be to delete the text and pretend I never saw it.   But I suck at the right thing.  My friend, oddly enough, was of the opinion that I should hear M out.  That after all of this time, it would be nice to know what the guy’s been thinking (if he’s been thinking).  My friend suggested I immediately call M back so that we could talk, but I wasn’t willing to jump just because M said jump. Instead I texted back that I was on the phone (my landline, in case you were confused) and would be available in 15 minutes.    And then my friend and I went back to our conversation about much more interesting things.

I called M after I got off the phone with my friend and guess what – I got his vm.  I hung up and didn’t bother with a message.  I vowed long ago to never leave him another vm.

And then the next day, I decided (I couldn’t help myself) to check on M’s twitter thread (I DO NOT follow him).  To see if he was indeed alive.  And, of course, he’d just recently tweeted.  Which led me to send the text of my title, “Seriously, hahahaha”.  Because I thought/think it’s really kinda funny how he gets this idea every few weeks/months that he needs to speak with me and then the idea fades – poof.  Gone.  He replied a few hours later saying that he seriously, really did  want to speak with me but was too busy working…

So I’m writing this today on the premise that he’s too busy working to be reading my blog.  Or not.  I think it’s hysterical.  Or pitiful.  Or some strange combination of the two.


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11 to “Seriously, hahahaha”


  1. Miss Alpha says:

    People make time for you when they care. Think about how easy it is to pick up the phone when you want to talk to someone. Or how easy it is to drop everything when a loved one is in distress. I’m unsure as to the backstory on this M character but I don’t waste my time on people who can’t make me a priority. You’re worth MUCH more than his actions indicate. “Seriously.”

  2. sfsingleguy says:

    “I felt like the “right thing” to do would be to delete the text and pretend I never saw it.”

    I’ve thought about that approach before, but anyone who has a clue knows that texts are always delivered, and always seen, even if briefly.

  3. Veka says:

    Seriously? Just ignore him from here on out. Don’t bother with someone like that.

    But for the record, sfsingleguy, texts aren’t always delivered. I’ve had problems with my phone before where it just stopped sending and receiving texts and I had to go to the closest AT&T store and have them fix it. It’s a rare occurrence, but it happens. Kind of off topic, but I’m just saying. For the most part you’re right, and I’ve been guilty of reading texts and never responding (certain people only).

  4. Time For an Intervention says:

    The two of you seem to get off playing these stupid, immature games. If it was so important to you to talk to him then you should have hung up with your friend and called M back. Instead you chose to play a dumb game of one upmanship. Sadder still is how you actually thought you’d won.

  5. Erin Jiveleigh says:

    Been through this game before. “Too busy” facebooking or twittering.. BS excuse 101. Maybe some guys get off on knowing that they are still somewhat important enough for you to take the time to call them back. Immature.

  6. sfsingleguy says:

    @Veka – huh, good to know. I guess I shouldn’t use texting for asking girls out on dates. Not knowing whether or not it was delivered drives me a bit insane on the important texts.

  7. Simone Grant says:

    -Miss Alpha
    Thank you. I believe I’m worth better, too. It’s never really been about that. I don’t know what it has been about, though.LOL.
    -sfsingleguy
    Yes. I could ‘pretend” I hadn’t seen it. But both he and I would know that was a lie. And I suck at lying. I pretty much suck at everything related to these silly games.
    -Veka
    You’re giving sound advice.
    -Time For an Intervention
    LOL. What part of my post makes you think I’m getting off on this. Or better yet, where do I give the impression that I think I’ve won. There is no winning here. I made a big mistake. I fell in love with the wrong man (a couple of years ago). We can never work out. And neither of us have completely moved on. I keep thinking I have, and then he keeps pulling me back. Where the fuck, exactly, is there any “getting of” in that?
    -Erin Jiveleigh
    Maybe. Perhaps it’s really just a power thing? I really have no idea. None.

  8. Anonymous says:

    It sucks because I know the compulsion to respond all too well.. I don’t understand how they are just able to forget you even exist.. but for some reason, we just whenever they call. I resorted to blocking the number.. maybe you should? He sounds like he really could care less.. think about it, could you just blatantly ignore someone you really cared for? I think not.

  9. drpepperista says:

    “I guess I shouldn’t use texting for asking girls out on dates.” As if asking someone out on a date via text was EVER a good idea?

  10. plentymorefishoutofwater says:

    It might be just me, but reading between the lines it bothers you more than you let on.

  11. Simone Grant says:

    -Anonymous
    I really try to stop myself from wondering how he feels about me. Whether he cares or doesn’t, all that’s relevant is how he acts.
    -drpepperista
    Welcome to the blog, and I’m with you. No to texts.
    -plentymorefishoutofwater
    Darling, it bothers me plenty. I also think it’s freakin hysterical. I guess you can say I have a dark sense of humor. We’ve been doing this dance a long time. And so now it’s just, you know, funny/sad.