But unlike the friends I celebrated with, my family isn’t far away. They’re local. Less than an hour away,
Well, I say “they” but there isn’t that much of a “they” left. There’s my dad and one sibling and some cousins. I should’ve gone and spent the day with them, but chose not to.
It wasn’t until I read this great post in Blogher, 14 Things this Single Gal is Thankful For, that I realized the real reason why. Because, while my mom and dad eventually got to a point where they were OK with the choices I’ve made, the rest of my family isn’t. Isn’t OK with the choices I’ve made and the life I have. One of my cousins once said to me, in the middle of a holiday meal (a few years ago) that I better start thinking about getting married because I wasn’t going to be fertile for too much longer.
Quite frankly, I just didn’t think I had it in me to sit through another one of those family meals where I get grilled and bullied and pitied. I just wasn’t up to it. So even though my dad wanted me to be there, I had to say no.
I feel pretty damn blessed that I had the love and support of my parents, even when it was conflicted. I know they tried. And I know that whatever pressure I did feel, it was minor compared to what other people get from their families. I can only imagine what my life would have been like if I was born into a different part of my family. Who knows, maybe I’d be a happier person today if I was pressured into getting married years ago? I doubt it, but anything is possible.
Anyway, I’m thankful that I’ve been able to, day by day, figure out my own way. That my parents weren’t there, every step of the way, putting up barriers. And that I have friends to spend the holidays with.
Tags: BlogHer, family, friends, thanksgiving