Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Public/Private: Drawing Lines

So I’m away this weekend. Well, I’m still away and it’s Monday and so it’s more of a long weekend.  I tweeted about it on Friday as I dealt with airport chaos, delayed flights and screaming children but have been pretty quiet since then.

I’m still not entirely comfortable sharing too many details of my life.  Not here, nor on twitter or facebook.  And truthfully, not even with most of my .

The number of people who I tell everything to is tiny.  And I kind of like it that way.

And, in case you’re wondering, there’s only ever been one guy who’s made it into that group. Usually I keep guys at arms length.  Not until they earn my .  Always.  Because, honestly, they usually don’t earn my .

Which is why it was so hard when the one man who I ever completely trusted turned into a total .  Because it was more than a breakup.  More than just another relationship that didn’t work out.  More than just another case of my poor judgment.

It was a betrayal of my trust.  My hard earned trust.

Anyway, I think I might be babbling.  I’m horribly undercaffienated right now, so please forgive me.  I’m home by Wednesday and then things return to something resembling normal.


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7 to “Public/Private: Drawing Lines”


  1. jackie summers says:

    anonymity is god’s gift to the internet, and what frees us to speak without fear of being judged. stand apart, stand aside, speak your mind. we support you simone.

  2. Tahoe Bill says:

    Paradoxical, isn’t it, that truth, trust, and relationships just don’t seem to mix. Even with the best of intentions. I’ve gotten to where I’d prefer to have people I can trust and tell everything to rather than have a relationship.

    Good luck & safe travels to you.

  3. PMFoutofwater says:

    Thanks for telling us you tell us nothing important :-)

  4. drumdance says:

    I’m generally an open book and think my life is better for it. Of course, I’m a guy and thus don’t have the security concerns that a woman might have.

    But putting that aside for the moment, imagine that you trusted everyone all the time. After a while you might begin to think that it doesn’t matter what others think about your secrets. Because a secret only has power if you grant it that power.

    I’ve had my heart broken a few times, but it was never because I trusted her too much.

    PS That doesn’t mean I think you should blog everything.

  5. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    Wireless technology in general and social networking specifically have created an illusion and an expectation that we are and should be omnipresent. But we don’t have to be. We don’t have to do or say or show or share anything we don’t want to.

    For people who are private and don’t open up easily, it hurts twice as much when that trust is betrayed. I think, though, that in the search for a partner, we have to be careful not to get too caught up in the fear that one person’s failure is representative of what we can expect from others. Also, an interesting thing about relationships is that the more we let others in, the more we can be sure that they’re sticking around because they like who we really are.

  6. Marla Martenson says:

    I need to be more like you. I tend to spill my guts. I am getting better, but a bit of mystery goes a loooong way!

  7. Simone Grant says:

    -jackie summers
    Thank you for the support. This anon thing certainly has some benefits. It’s all about drawing the right lines.
    -Tahoe Bill
    Hmm. I thought I was the only one who had trouble mixing truth, trust and relationships. I’d like to think that they can all co-exist.
    -PMFoutofwater
    I guess, darling, that depends on how you define important.
    -drumdance
    It’s a good point. My heart was not broken because I trusted too much. But my trust was betrayed, which is actually more hurtful to me than a broken heart. IDK, maybe one day it will all come together.
    -Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles
    Great point that, “the more we let others in, the more we can be sure that they’re sticking around because they like who we really are.” And it’s certainly worth trying again, someday.
    -Marla Martenson
    I’d love to find a happy medium :-)