Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

My Worst

A while ago I posted (sorry, I couldn’t find the post to reference it) this quote from Marilyn Monroe, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”.

Poor, dear Marilyn.

Anyway, it came to mind yesterday as I was screaming at someone (she earned it) over the phone.  I’ve been at my worst a lot lately.  A lot.  Lots of bad days.  Things keep going wrong.   Work stuff, health stuff, family stuff.  has been taking its toll.

My worst is pretty hard to handle.  I stop self editting and go a little overboard on the aggression.  I get loud and sometimes even cruel.  No, I’m not bragging.  Just being honest.  My worst sucks.

Maybe it’s time I realize that only certain types of men can handle that.


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12 to “My Worst”


  1. deezeegirl says:

    I think all of us at our worst is hard. I do believe there is one man who can handle us at our worst because it doesn’t happen often and our best is amazing. :)
    I think there is something in the water because I have been at my worst lately as well.

  2. Tahoe Bill says:

    Totally different skill sets needed for handling the worst and the best. Doesn’t seem likely that you would find such diverse skill sets in one person.

  3. LPS says:

    Oh I’m sorry to hear that, Simone! I hope things get better! Here’s a hopeful thought: you might be feeling like that because you haven’t got someone to share the load? (Not that a man is an answer to everything). Just thinking if you had someone to share things with then maybe you wouldn’t be at your worst a lot lately. I have days when I genuinely feel like that. Some men are great at handling the worst with aplomb and diffusing situations. And others suck at it. Love is about working through the worst with someone – situations, character flaws, downright maddening behaviour, all of that – as well as all the amazing stuff. This is my belief and I’m sticking to it! :)

  4. Shannia says:

    you are totally allowed to be at your worst and to scream and be mad or sick or have a bad day. If the person on the phone is human, she’ll get that.
    I hope you feel better soon Simone.

  5. PMFoutofwater says:

    Great quote, that – not heard it before. A good mantra. Keep your chin up, Simone. Loving your work here.

  6. Girlgemma says:

    I guess but most men dont want to put up withsomeone who is at thier worst like for example would you be bothered with someone if they are always at thier worst most likely not these people get boring and get you down btw nothing agaist these people i been there many times

  7. Jackie Summers says:

    You are SUCH a native New Yorker! Equal parts aggression / compassion!

  8. He8Myheart says:

    “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”.

    I’d never heard that quote before, but I love it. I feel just like that. Poor Marilyn, poor me.

    Anyway, I just found your blog and I think I’ll be reading more. I like it a lot. Everyone’s worst sucks, but I hope you start feeling like you’re not there as much soon.

  9. dmfontana says:

    I never heard that quote before, but I like it … and I buy into the idea. Why should you just get the best of someone… being part of any type of relationship, friends, dating etc.. means you sign up for the worst as well

  10. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    I find that a lot of men these days demonstrate a remarkable lack of ability to roll with the bad as well as the good. I’m sure women are the same, but I don’t date them, so I have no direct experience there. :) When I think back to how many of my dating relationships were going along swimmingly until ONE thing happened, maybe one minor disagreement or awkward moment that sent the guy running for the hills, I could cry. Really. It just doesn’t seem to take much. People who know me know that I’m the absolute last person to advocate settling, and I love being single, but I think people who want relationships need to understand that there are going to be some bad days. Sometimes it just seems like people have no tolerance anymore for the normal little bumpy parts of a relationship.

  11. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles says:

    One more thing–A really good guy probably shouldn’t give you cause to get that angry more than very rarely.

  12. Simone Grant says:

    -deezeegirl
    Welcome to the blog. It may very well be the water. Or the moon?
    -Tahoe Bill
    Call me an optimist, but I’d like to think it’s possible. I’ve had glimmers of it. Just not the real thing. Not yet.
    -LPS
    I don’t disagree with you and stick by the post I wrote about how sometimes I think about how some things would be easier with a partner. But somethings I have to shoulder on my own. Even though it’s hard. And for those things, it would be nice to have someone offer a hug of support.
    -Shannia
    Thanks darling. The person on the phone was, eventually, apologetic. She screwed up and caused me a lot of unnecessary pain.
    -PMFoutofwater
    Thanks darling. Chin is firmly up. No matter what.
    -Girlgemma
    Welcome to the blog. Of course, it’s hard to attract a new person and work on a relationship when you’re at your worse. That’s why I haven’t dated in the last couple of months.
    -Jackie Summers
    That sounds about right. It’s nice to have it probably recognized.
    -He8Myheart
    Welcome to the blog and thanks. Yes, I’d agree. Everyone’s worst sucks.
    -dmfontana
    Certainly. And perhaps why so many romantic relationships falter is the lack of true friendship as a foundation.
    -Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles
    Yes, I’d agree that a lot of people would rather walk away from relationships and/or people than deal with the daily stress/ugliness that comes with real life. It’s all so much easier in fairy tales.