With an opening like that, how could I not read the article? Turns out the post, Best Dating Advice Ever From Michelle Obama, in YourTango was a really great one and I did think her advice was pretty damn awesome:
“Cute’s good. But cute only lasts for so long, and then it’s, Who are you as a person? That’s the advice I would give to women: Don’t look at the bankbook or the title. Look at the heart. Look at the soul. Look at how the guy treats his mother and what he says about women. How he acts with children he doesn’t know. And, more important, how does he treat you? When you’re dating a man, you should always feel good. You should never feel less than. You should never doubt yourself. You shouldn’t be in a relationship with somebody who doesn’t make you completely happy and make you feel whole. And if you’re in that relationship and you’re dating, then my advice is, don’t get married. [original source: Glamour]
What I found particularly intriguing about this post was that they put this in historical perspective, also quoting several other first ladies. Here were the last two on the list:
Jackie Kennedy Onassis’ Advice: “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.”
Abigail Adams’s Advice: “However brilliant a woman’s talents may be, she ought never shine at the expense of her Husband.”
Wow, huh? Talk about how times have changed.
Or have they? Maybe our expectations, as women/people, are changing. But the realities of (most) relationships aren’t. Maybe the reason so many of us (a signficant minority) choose to stay single for as long as we do, and maybe even forever, is because we want to meet a man/person (I’d guess that Michelle Obama’s advice can work just as well for men in terms of what they should look for in a woman) who can live up to the Obama standard of marriage and all we find is someone who wants us to settle for the Adams’s standard. Hmm.
There is a poll question here, somewhere. I think.
I’d like to know what you think. Have the nature of relationships fundamentally changed over time? Have our expectations/what we seek in a significant other changed significantly (from “love” to needing so much more than love)?
- Yes. Things have changed dramatically. (39 votes)
- No. People have been falling in love and struggling to have relationships since the dawn of time. It’s not that complicated. (24 votes)
- Other. Please explain in the comments. (5 votes)
Tags: advice, dating advice, marriage, polls, Relationships, YourTango