So last week I went in for my annual tune up aka my annual pap smear. This year was different because I was seeing a new ob/gyn for the first time in ages.
Now, first I should say that I didn’t actually go out of my way to make this appointment. When I called the office for a refill on my pills they told me that it had been a full year since last year’s exam and they wouldn’t give me more than a 1 month refill unless I made an appointment to come in right away. I’m not 100% sure about my insurance coverage (I have insane deductibles) and so I haven’t been making any but the most necessary medical appointments. Anyway, they decided it was necessary, so it was necessary. Then they informed me that my doctor, who I’ve been seeing for years, is no longer seeing non-surgical patients. Which means me.
So they wouldn’t give me refills unless I came and let some stranger poke around my nether regions. OK, fine, whatever. I made an appointment with whoever in the practice was next available, who took my crappy insurance (just in case it was covered).
My appointment was one morning last week. The practice is in one of the more upscale hospitals in the city, and the waiting room was full of pregnant women in designer clothes and their distracted husbands(who all typed away on their blackberries, while my iphone got zero reception). Of course, the doctor was running over an hour behind schedule and the whole time I couldn’t get this song out of my head (oh, come on, it’s FUNNY).
So eventually it was my turn with the doctor and she turned out to be a few years younger than me. OK fine, I’m old and so that’s not so strange but everytime I have to deal with a doctor who is younger than me it freaks me out a little bit. She wanted to sit down and go over my history etc. in her office before the exam which I thought was nice. And then we got to the juicy part where she started to ask about my sex life.
First she asked if I was sexually active. We’d just met and so I was a good girl and answered yes, instead of, not as active as I’d like. Then she asked me about birth control and answered her own question looking down at my chart, “oh, you’re on the pill”. I added, “I also use condoms”. And then she asked, in a way that wasn’t really a question, “And how many sexual partners…One, right?”.
Holy shit. I mean, holy shit. If ever there was a person on the planet who shouldn’t ask that question, in that way, it’s your ob/gyn. The words she used, the tone in her voice, she made me feel like…like I don’t know what. But the only way for us, at that point, to have an honest discussion about my sexual and reproductive health (one where she had all of the facts) would be for me to say, “No, not one. And when you say how many partners, can you please be more specific? Do you mean since my last pap? Do you mean ‘how many men am I currently sleeping with’? I need you to be more specific.”
And in that moment I didn’t feel up to saying any of that. Not to the judgmental sounding young doctor who kept me waiting for over an hour. Instead I lied and said, “yeah”.
ps My parts all checked out fine AND my insurance covered the visit.
Tags: condoms, OB/GYN, the pill